Parties And Gift Giving In Panama—What To Give And How Much To Spend

Hello everyone, 

Last night I received an email from a reader and friend, asking a question that would probably stump most people moving here from a foreign land. How much should you give at a birthday party? She and her family just recently settled down in Panama, and already, her daughter was invited to a birthday party for a classmate.

If you don’t have kids, don’t worry, I’ll get to adult party gift giving a little later in this article. For now, let’s stick with the kids.

First, it’s important to know that in Panama, it’s very common for kids to have birthday parties at school. Where I come from, this would be forbidden. Sure, you might bring a gift for your best friend if you found out it was his or her birthday, but you'd never see an all-out fiesta. Here it’s totally the norm. And with four kids, it seems someone is always needing to take a gift to school.

What should you give at a party? 

With my sons, in Kindergarten (a class that’s mixed with Pre-K and has about 30 kids in the room), you can imagine how many birthdays take place. It seems there’s at least two a month, sometimes more often. Some school parties consist of just snacks, a cake, and canastitas (goodie bags), while some even include a piñata.

Speaking of canastitas, if you ever throw a birthday party here, whether in your house, at a party salon, or in school, you have to have canastitas. They’re expected. The kids will be very sad if they don’t receive one.

Goodie bags are a must in Panama  

So, when your kid is invited to a party, what kind of gift do you give, or how much should you give in cash or on a gift card? Most Panamanian parents will write on the invitation what they’d like to receive for their child. Here’s what you might see:

• Lluvia de Sobres, which translates to “Rain of envelopes”. This means they’d like to receive cash. 
• Talla 12 “Size 12,” or whatever size the child is, means they’d like to receive clothes.
• GC might be written to mean gift card, or they’ll just write (or place a sticker) of the store they’d like to receive a gift card from. Poppy’s is a popular kids clothing store here, similar to a Gymboree. We’ve received several invitations with Poppy’s stickers on them. 

You never just see the word “toys” written on an invitation, or juguetes in Spanish. I’m old fashioned in the way that I usually buy a toy for the kid. Marlene and I argue about this all the time. She likes to stick with what the card says, but I remember being a kid and excitedly opening presents to find only clothes. It sucked! I just wanted a Transformer (or was it a Go-Bot?) or a new G.I. Joe action figure (never a doll, never!) or even a pack of freakin’ Garbage Pale Kid trading cards (those were awesome).

Who wants clothes? None of the boys do, I’m pretty sure. I doubt the kid is shouting over mom’s shoulder as she writes out the invitations, “Please, mom, not toys again…just write size 12!" 

The look on Nico's face would be totally different 

if this guitar had been a pack of underwear

Plus, I imagine all the other parents bringing size 12 clothes. All kids want at least one toy for their birthday. So, if I tick off a parent, but put a smile on a kid’s face, I think it was well worth it.

If you’d rather just give a gift card or participate in the rain of envelopes and give cash, this is the way it’s played out in Panama. You have to consider how much the parent is spending on the party. If it’s a simple house party or a party taking place at school, spending $10 on a gift or giving $10 cash (or gift card) should be fine.

If it’s a party at an expensive party salon, at Chuck-E-Cheese, or something like that, where you know the parents are spending quite a bit of money on each kid invited, it’s a good idea to spend/give at least $25. 

A party at this place in Punta Pacifica isn't gonna be cheap

Now, if we’re talking about a quinceaños (sweet 15), that’s a little bit different. A quince is a very important time in a young lady's life, practically as big a deal as a wedding. Imagine that TV show “My Super Sweet 16” with a little bit of salsa and tipico dancing thrown into the mix. Everyone dresses very formally (unless there’s a different kind of theme) and you should give at least $50. Really, anywhere from $50-$100, depending on your relationship with the girl and your level of comfort (income level). Aunts and uncles will probably give at least $100, maybe more. Friends of family will usually spend somewhere between $50-$80.

Back to kids’ parties. It’s probably a good idea to use this space to mention a few things you should be ready for if attending a birthday party in Panama.

1. Where is everybody? The party will usually start out empty. Being tardy is a Panamanian thing (sorry all my Panamanian friends, but you know it’s true). If you arrive at 2pm, the exact time printed on the invitation, don’t be alarmed if you’re the only guest there. People will show up, but probably at around 3 (or later).

2. Just pretend you know the song - Happy Birthday will be sung in both English and Spanish (this is very common in Panama, unless somehow you find yourself at an all-American or English-only party). So, during the Spanish version of the song, you’ll need to figure out something to do to make yourself not stick out in the crowd. Fidget with your camera, or bend down to fix your kid’s hair, haha.

Being the one behind the camera is a good way to camouflage yourself

Or, better yet, just learn the words to the Spanish version. Check out this Kidpats video we put together about birthday parties in Panama. During the singing of Happy Birthday, I added Spanish subtitles to help people learn. Check it out by clicking HERE.

3. You want me to do what? At Panamanian parties being animated by a clown or host, there's a good chance you'll get called out for a game. It happens to me every time. Gringos tend to be part of the entertainment sometimes. One host thought it was hilarious that I didn’t speak Spanish and kind of picked on me through the whole party.

Here I am, unwillingly participating

Honestly, at just about every party I’ve been to, I’ve ended up as one of the non-volunteering volunteers to play the games with the kids. 

Even at a baby shower (there where was beer 

in the bottle though, and I won, so it was all good)

If this happens to you, don’t get upset. Be happy to be included in the festivities. Just laugh it off and have a good time.

4. I’m starvin’ ova hea! Never go to a party hungry. Most Panamanian parties will include arroz con pollo (chicken with rice), plantains, potato salad, etc. At some you’ll find only appetizer treats. Usually, the food won’t be served until well into the party. This happens for two reasons. The first, as I mentioned earlier, most people show up late. Second, once the food is served (as with most parties anywhere) people start to disappear. So don’t go to a party thinking, “Oh I’ll just eat at the party.” Do yourself a favor and eat a little something before you leave the house. 

Moving on to adult parties. At an adult birthday party, you’d probably want to spend between $20-$30, unless it’s someone very close to you, then you can spring for a little more. Same goes for cash or a gift card. Here's a tip. With an adult party, you might want to go with a present so it’s not so obvious how much you spent. Unless, of course, you’re ready to give $50 cash, then I’m sure you’d look alright, lol. 

Weddings cost a lot, so it's polite to give a nice gift

Weddings are a lot like a quinces. Spending wise, you’d follow the same rules. One thing you need to know about weddings here, is it’s customary to give cash. It’s not like in the U.S. where people show up with gift wrapped toasters, blenders, and foot massagers. 

On a random side note (you know me and my tangents), Marlene and I once received a wedding gift that was re-gifted to us. How did we know? When we unwrapped it and opened the box, we found a beautiful card, wishing our friends the best of luck in their marriage. It was a note to them from the original purchaser. Apparently they’d never opened the gift and just passed it on to us. We had a good laugh and never told our friends.

Be ready to dance at weddings too!

Back to the wedding gifts. At all weddings in Panama, somewhere near the entrance to the reception, you should see some sort of envelope box, usually a fancy contraption with a slit at the top. Just put your cash-filled card there. 

On a final note, I’ve also received emails about dinner parties and whether it’s necessary to take a gift with you if invited to one. Panamanians are very fun-loving people and it seems there’s always a friendly get together, which means the hosts are spending money on food and drinks. 

So, the answer is yes, if you’re invited to a party at someone’s home, for whatever reason, it’s always nice to bring either a bottle of wine, or some sort of dessert. Just stop by the supermarket and grab an apple pie if you’re not sure what to bring. 

Or…the absolute best…pick up one of those chocolate cakes from the Rey supermarket, the ring shaped one. It’s one of the best chocolate cakes I’ve ever eaten. Love that thing. 

I'm talking about these chocolate cakes!

Man, now I need to go eat some more sugar-free Jello (they really need to make Rey-supermarket-chocolate-ring-cake-sugar-free Jello). Seriously. 

Well, I think that about covers it. As always, I invite readers to write in with their comments and anything I may have missed.

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Taking the Plunge and Finding Happiness as an Expat in Panama

Let me start this article by saying that I don’t mean to get all emotional on you again. You’re probably thinking, “First the dating, then the battling depression, now finding happiness? Chris, for cryin’ out loud, go seek therapy. Call your psychiatrist friend, Juha!”

Fair enough, but I got the idea for this subject last week when my son, little Matteo, was sick and I had to take him to a clinic. While in the waiting room, a very nice lady who’d overheard me speaking English, approached me, and wanted to chat. She was here visiting family and trying to make a decision on whether she and her husband should make the move to Panama. She’s Panamanian and her husband is from the U.S. She leaned towards me, and with all seriousness asked, “Are you happy?”

I immediately started talking about Panama For Real, of course, and what I’m doing. I gave her my card.

“But are you happy?” she asked again.

I then explained that I love Panama and would love it even more if I were a little more financially stable and that I, personally, preferred a life outside of the city...

“...And are you happy?”

After the third time hearing the same question, I realized I wasn’t doing a very good job of answering it. That got me thinking. What is happiness in Panama?

This view from Isla Taboga could make many people happy

At that point, I had to adjust my train of thought. What was she truly asking? See, she was mostly concerned about healthcare in Panama. She and her husband are both over the age of 60 and have a real concern when it comes to healthcare and insurance. I asked if they had a decent income to retire on and she said that that wasn’t a problem at all. She wants to live in the city, but her husband doesn’t. He’d rather live out in the interior (sounds a lot like my story). Her husband doesn’t want to move to Panama until they’ve discovered realistic insurance options, since Medicare doesn’t apply in Panama.  

I could tell right then that my answer would never suit her because her idea of happiness was altogether different from mine.

And it reminded me of the questions asked in the online forums. Everyone wants to know if everyone living here is happy. Are we content with our new lives in Panama?

Well, that’s difficult to answer because everyone moves to Panama for his or her own reasons and before you move here, you need to figure out your true reasons for wanting to leave home, because if you don’t, you may come here and find your retirement dreams unfulfilled.

This is my happiness in Panama

So why are you wanting to move overseas in the first place and then, why Panama? Here are a few reasons others want to try Panama. Maybe you fall into one of these categories or maybe you have an entirely different reason for wanting to base your new life here. 

Are you trying to escape the government? 

This is a serious question because many people want to move to Panama because they think they’ll never have to answer to the U.S. government again. They’ve heard Panama is a tax haven and they’ll be safe operating a business here without the hassle of reporting in back home.

That’s not the case. You need to understand that. I’ll save the specifics for the tax specialists, but Panama is no longer a tax haven. And you will need to pay taxes on money earned in Panama, if you’re still a U.S. citizen (of course there’s the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion if you qualify) but in some ways, living here can be even scarier than living in the U.S. because you never know when some new form or procedure will pop up that affects us here in Panama.

Beautiful, but not a tax haven

If you live a simple life and play by the rules, you should be okay.

Did you hear that Panama is an easy place to run a business? 

It can be, especially if you’re planning to start an online business. However, let me just rant for a second and say that, if your plan is to move to Panama, open a business, then pay very low salaries to your Panamanian workers, while expecting them to perform as if they’re being paid top dollar, you shouldn’t come to Panama. I’ll write more about this in a separate post, but it’s the foreigners moving to Panama and treating Panamanian workers like crap that are giving the rest of us a bad name.

So again, when thinking about happiness, what does that mean? If it means sitting back and relaxing while paying $3 per hour to skilled workers while they run your construction company (and you do everything in your power to avoid paying vacation, holidays, and other entitlements), please don’t bring it to Panama. Find that happiness someplace else.

Happiness (Estefania winning a major Toyota art contest)

If, however, you plan to open a business and pay the workers a fair wage and you plan to train them on customer service and treat them with respect, Panama can be a wonderful place to run a business. Yes, before the comments come streaming in, of course there’s red tape and bureaucracy issues to deal with, just like in the U.S. You just have to be patient, and again, play by the rules.  

Are you looking for a better quality of life? 

You could definitely find this in Panama. But what do you mean by a better quality of life? This is something you really have to think about. The grass is pretty green here in the tropics, but I have to tell you, sometimes it seems even greener on the well-manicured front lawns of some of the suburban homes I see in Facebook photos. From what I’ve seen, some of you appear to be leaving a pretty good life behind. Make sure you fully think about what you’re preparing to do.

Happiness (spending time with the kids...and even more kids)

Life in Panama is relaxed and wonderful; the pace may be slower, the air may be fresher, the people may be friendlier, rent may be cheaper (out in the interior anyway), and your skin may get tanner, but it’ll probably be hotter, the traffic will be thicker (in the city), your shopping options will be fewer (you can still shop online), the mosquitos will be buzzier (I think I just created a word), and communication will be harder.

"Knowing is half the battle" --GI Joe

Panama is an amazing place and you can definitely have a great life here. So dream about the good you've read about, and prepare yourself for the challenges, to be mentally prepared for what this new life really means.

Are you trying to escape winter? 

Yeah, you win on that one. You’ll never see snow again, but just make sure you truly don’t want your 4 seasons, because Panama has 2, really hot and really hot and wet (unless you’re in the mountains). 

It's even sun and palm trees in the city

And if you find yourself missing cooler temperatures, just take a quick trip to Boquete, Volcan, Cerro Punta, Cerro Azul, El Valle de Anton, Sora…you get the point. Mountain towns can provide a quick reprieve from the constant heat.

Are you looking for a better place to raise a family? 

I’m raising my family here in Panama, and I have to say that I think Panama provides an atmosphere that is more conducive to creating a strong family unit than most places in the U.S. I said most places. The Duggars seem to be doing fine with their 19 kids (or is it more now) wherever they live, lol.

Happiness (big family parties)

Panamanians are very family-friendly. It’s all about familia here and that’s something different form what I experienced in the U.S. My family was very spread out. Here it seems much more normal to have big Sunday gatherings. When my daughters had their first communions last month, the house was crowded afterwards, and several family members wanted to give a speech about how proud they were or about the importance of the decision my daughters made that day. It was beautiful. Family values are taken very seriously here and that’s something I’m excited about.

Are you trying to make your retirement income stretch? 

I’ve written several times about the cost of living in Panama and I’ll say again that life in Panama City is no longer cheap. It’s just not. Yes, you can get lucky and find an affordable apartment downtown, but are you going to have the place long term? If you’re able to afford a life in a place like Punta Pacifica, Punta Paitilla, Marbella, Bella Vista, Costa del Este, or outside of the city in places like Panama Pacifico, you’ll be living a luxurious life. Even areas of the city like El Cangrejo, El Carmen, Obarrio, and San Francisco could provide you with a nice living, but again, those neighborhoods aren’t cheap.

Costa del Este isn't cheap

Life outside of the city is much more affordable. Even in the expat-friendly places like Coronado, Boquete, Pedasi, and El Valle de Anton, you’ll be able to find a rental or a place for sale for what may be less than what's on the market in the U.S. or in any other country. I say may because I have no idea what the costs are in your home country.

However, if you look to places like Penonomé, Chitre, Santiago, Aguadulce, Las Tablas, Volcan, and even David, you’ll probably find that the costs are much less than what you’re used to paying. In Panama, depending on where you’re looking, rent can be as low as $300 per month (maybe even lower) or as high as $4,000 per month and up. 

You'll spend much less in a town like Las Tablas

So, you can make your retirement income stretch, but you need to be realistic with your funds. I get the questions like the following all the time: “Where can I live that’s not too far from the city, with gorgeous beach views, where I can rent a big house with a big yard, where the people speak English, shopping is great, the restaurants are fabulous, and a hospital is within walking disntance…for $400 per month rent? More than likely, that’s not gonna happen. You’ll have to be a little more flexible if you really expect to stretch your retirement income.

What it all boils down to: 

None of these may be your reason for wanting to leave your home country. Maybe you’re just a Roberto Duran fanatic, maybe you have always wanted to grow your own coffee or veggie garden, or maybe you have a thing for really big canals. I don’t know.

Happiness (weekend escapes with my wife...whenever we can)

In the end, I explained to my new friend at the clinic that happiness is subjective. I would be happy being able to support my family while sipping sweet tea on a wrap around porch (the house in the movie Best Little Whorehouse in Texas comes to mind) while watching my kids jump back and forth through the long, narrow sprinkler (you remember the one we used to play in when we were kids, the one that shoots the water up like a wall and we’d try to block the water from coming out of the little holes with our toes, but it tickled, so we’d squeal and jump back…sorry random thoughts again). I think I’d love that.

Happiness (taking the kids on their first Metro train ride)

To my new friend, happiness is a life in the city, where she can be close to her family and all the things she remembers from her youth, while it sounds like her husband would enjoy a retirement a little closer to what I have in mind.

Even if I answered her, “Yes, I am extremely happy in all possible ways.” That does not mean that she’d be happy here or that her husband would be.

I explained to her, “Look, you are Panamanian, which makes this move a lot easier. Some people move here with no ties at all; no family, no friends, and no contacts. For someone with connections here, this move wouldn’t be much different from a move out of one state and into the next in the U.S. or from Ontario to Quebec.”

I’m asked so many questions about retiring to Panama. People spend years studying this place, trying to decide if it's right for them. I don’t want anyone to think it’s just a walk in the park. You’ll face a lot of challenges here, just read the recent Facebook group complaints (and arguments). But if you've spent 5 years researching Panama and you’re still not ready to pull the trigger, think of it like this. How many people do you know who’ve said they won’t have a baby until they’re more financially stable? Then when money’s good they say they want to buy a car before they have a little one. Then they want a bigger house. It never ends until one day, after a few too many margaritas, they slip up and just have a baby.

Planning a baby or at least the right time to have one doesn’t really work, not for most people. If you want to have a baby, you just have a baby, and everything else will fall in place around it. Usually, when someone has a baby, they wonder why they didn’t do it sooner.

All I’m saying is, you may never have all your ducks in a row (man I’m using clichés like crazy). So think about why you want to make the move. Decide if happiness is going to be here. 

Don’t sever all ties to your home country. It’s definitely a good idea to keep a bank account open there and it’s always a good idea to rent here in Panama first, so rather than move everything you own, maybe (if you can afford it) you just put some things in a storage unit. Then, if it doesn’t work out, and Panama just isn’t what you thought, it’ll be a little easier to go home.

And one last thing, don’t listen to all the bullies who write about the people who come here, last a few months or a few years, and leave. I see that all the time too. Some of the grumpy folks who stick around like to rub it in peoples’ faces that they couldn’t hack it and returned home. Hack what? This is a hallmark we’re talking about, a serious move, a life-changing event. Try Panama, don’t give up easily, but in the end, if it doesn’t work out for you, no sweat. Do something else. If you wanted to move to Texas, would you care if a few people were ranting online about how so many people move to Texas and wuss out and head back to South Florida?  I wouldn’t. The truth is, the person saying that moved to Panama at one point, from someplace else, and it turned out he liked it. What if he didn’t?

And you’ll also see a lot of people making comments like, “I don’t want anymore gringos moving here.” What’s that all about? How selfish is that? We all deserve a chance at finding happiness, either in our home country, or abroad, so let’s take everyone else out of the equation and figure out how to create our own personal happiness in Panama.

Thanks for reading,

Chris

P.S. if you’re wondering how much I spent at the clinic…$14 (without insurance). Took his brother the next day and spent $32 (consultation plus an injection as he had a high fever and needed an antibiotic).

And if you haven't already, check out our other website at http://www.PanamaForReal.com for even more info. 

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Battling Depression in Panama

Hey everybody,

Awhile back, before he actually moved to Panama, an online buddy of mine (we need to get together for a beer soon, Todd) asked in an expat forum, how expats deal with depression. It wasn’t that he was depressed himself (he’s an ex-military guy and moves around a lot), but since he was planning a move to Panama, he wanted to know how foreigners in Panama deal with this oh-so-real situation. It was a great question, and it has stuck with me ever since. Depression happens. I’m here in Panama with my wife and 4 kids, and it has happened to me, so I’m sure for those people moving here alone, depression is a serious condition they battle from time to time. And if you’ve ever gone through depression, it can be debilitating if not dealt with properly and immediately.

Now, I’m no web doctor, and I don’t want to scare anyone who's considering a move to Panama. In fact, a move to Panama is probably much easier than a move to many other countries (considering you’ll be using the U.S. dollar, you'll be in the same time zone for the most part, and you can communicate and get back to the U.S. or Canada relatively easily). But it’s not Kansas anymore, Toto. You might experience a little bit of culture shock and even if you don’t, you might at some point ask yourself, “What the hell was I thinking?” If you hang in there long enough, and fight off that urge to pack up and go home, you’ll probably find that a life in Panama is quite rewarding. There’s a reason you considered moving to Panama in the first place. Remember that. You know the saying, The grass is always greener on the other side. Giving up will only make you happy when you first arrive home. Then, maybe a year later, you’re going to be wondering why you didn’t stick around a little longer.

Some of you reading this may be going through a little bit of depression right now. Hopefully by reading this article, you’ll realize that you’re not alone in this, and there are some things you can do to help you battle this feeling.

Feeling down? The first step to battling depression is 

to smear cupcake on your face...like this!

As I write this, I’m sitting in New York Bagels in El Cangrejo, munching on a honey wheat bagel with jalapeño and red pepper cream cheese. I see groups of people gathered together gossiping while eating a light snack. I can see five people with laptops open, using the restaurant’s free Wifi (free with a purchase of any kind). Usually I visit this place to meet one of my friends for breakfast, but today I have no meeting planned. So why am I here? I’m here because I need to get out of the house. I’m starting to feel cooped up. And to beat any of that anxiety or depression that might start rearing its ugly little head soon, I’m getting out in public and feeding off of the energy around me while writing this article. Getting out of the house and around people is one way of beating depression. Let's talk more about what you might experience here in Panama. 

At New York Bagels in El Cangrejo

When you first move to Panama, you’re going to be filled with an electricity, an excitement about ignoring all those people back home who tried to stop you from making this decision. You'll be proud of yourself for finally making the leap. It's a great feeling. You did it. You’re in Panama. It might take a little while for the normal worries to finally sink in, but at some point, some of the following might cross your mind.

My family is so far away – Many of the people trying this retire overseas lifestyle will have children and grandchildren. More than likely, the children are grown, but not hearing the laughter of your grandchildren can be tough. Unless you live in Panama City, you’ll probably find that Panama is a quiet place. If you’ve ever had children running around your living room and climbing over your lap and leaving the toilet seat up (remember I have 2 boys so I hear about this one all the time), that lack of wild energy might be overwhelming. Silence is extremely loud when it’s all you hear. Marlene reminded me of this often when we lived in our little apartment in Anchorage, Alaska. She missed the sound of car horns and birds and noisy neighbors. So for many people living in the interior of Panama, this may be a lot to bear.

How do you deal with this?

Well, if you need any immediate being-around-kids fix, take a walk. Go somewhere you know children will be and get some exercise. Just take a stroll past a school or go to a park. If you’re in Panama City, Parque Omar in San Francisco is an excellent place to go. Kids are everywhere playing on jungle gyms and running and tumbling. You’d be surprised. The lively sounds of kids at play might help a little bit, and getting out of the house and enjoying some fresh air will definitely make you feel a little better.

Parque Omar is a colorful and lively park full of children's laughter

Make sure you have Skype installed on your computer and have frequent Skype meetings with your family members. If you both have Skype installed, it’ll be free. We do live video chats with my mom every Sunday. She sees the kids and they see her as if they’re in the same room. It definitely helps us keep in touch. If we didn’t do this, my kids would have a hard time remembering Grandma. If you’re not sure how to do this, just go to the following link and download the program to your computer. Then tell your family to do the same. Just go to www.skype.com.

If you really want to feel in touch with your family, make sure you have Whatsapp installed on your phone. Your family members and friends will need to download it too. It’s free, or I think actually $1 per year. Make sure they put your phone number in as +507 and your number. My mom and brothers have Whatsapp and we chat on our phones as if we’re all living on the same block. Another cool app a friend recently told me about is Glide. With Glide, you can video chat on your phone the same way you’d chat on Whatsapp. You set it up pretty much the same way, and you can video chat right on your phone, sending messages back and forth with your loved ones.

Also, with devices like Magic Jack (I know there are many others out there, but I have a Magic Jack thanks to my good friend Michael Drouillard) you can call and receive calls as if you’re in the same country as your loved ones. I have a Miami phone number hooked up to it. I think it’s only like $30 a year to be able to do this. What phone company would let you make unlimited calls to another country for only $30 per year? The last time I was in the U.S., I saw Magic Jacks in stores like Walmart, Walgreens, and CVS, so I know they’re easy to get. You can check out their website too at www.magicjack.com. 

I just want to feel self-sufficient – One thing that I’m sure all expats deal with, is the feeling that you can’t get anything accomplished on your own. If you don’t come here knowing at least a little bit of Spanish, you may have even more trouble with this one. I speak very little Spanish and I battle with this a lot. 

I think, even for Spanish-speaking expats, learning to adapt to the Panamanian way of life will still be a challenge. For example, a Venezuelan couple at my kids’ school seemed to have a bit of a hard time when the folklore teacher sent out a note saying that all kids must bring cutarras and a sombrero for boys or the pollera and babuchas for girls (for more on these Panama items, read my article on Panama school tips and pointers here). 

My kids modeling the congo-style folklore clothes

Being new to Panama, they had no idea where to get these things. Everyone told them to go to Sal si Puedes, which is a shopping area on Ave. Central (near Casco Viejo), but since they didn’t know their way around, even though they spoke Spanish, this was like Greek to them. So, feeling that you can’t accomplish things on your own might make you feel a little bit down.

Sal si Puedes is the shopping area to the left and right of that stoplight

How do you deal with this?

First, it’s not a fix-all, but it will be tremendously helpful if you learn to speak Spanish. Enroll in a local class (which will also help you make friends here). If you can speak the language, at least you can ask questions when you don’t understand something or know where something is. Duolingo is a great app for your phone and a great program to have on your computer. It’s free and is kind of like a social media (ish) kind of language learning program. It’s like a mix between Rosetta Stone and Facebook. The website is www.duolingo.com. I've tried it, it seems pretty cool, I just haven't had the time to devote to really using it as a learning tool. You guys will have to let me know if it works for you.

Take classes to meet people and get out of the house. I saw this sign in the city.

Something else that’s great to do is get involved with the Facebook and Yahoo groups. I usually stick with the Facebook ones as I’ve run into a lot more negativity on the Yahoo ones (not saying everyone there is negative, guys). By getting involved in the Panama Facebook groups, you can learn so much. People there are so helpful. There’s so much free info online right now that you don’t need to pay the big companies for packets and reports. Just ask the people already living in Panama. If you need to find out how to get your registration renewed on your car, ask in the Facebook groups. If you need a recipe or need to find out if anyone is selling a piece of furniture you're looking for...ask on Facebook.

Something else you should definitely do is read the local blogs. So many people have moved here and started telling people about their adventures. What better way to find out how to accomplish things than to read the tales of those who’ve done it? I’ve seen blogs from people living in David, Pedasi, Boquete, neighborhoods in Panama City, and in many other places. Just go to the Panama For Real, Other Panama Blogs page to see some of the blogs from Panama bloggers. Click here to go to that page. 

Sometimes you feel like this (this is a real medicine I saw at the pharmacy here)

Lastly, you just have to force yourself to try. I know, it’s tough, and sometimes I just don’t feel like struggling through a task, but I’ve had my car stereo changed out, I’ve had tires plugged, I’ve gotten my driver’s license, I’ve traveled around by bus, and rode the Metro. So sometimes you just have to do your best to take care of things. And if all else fails, ask around until you find a bilingual person because usually, those Panamanians who can speak English, will be happy to help you.

I’m not sure I fit in here – If you had a large group of friends back home, went out to a bar after work with coworkers, or got together often with neighbors to have barbecues, you might feel a little bit lonely in Panama. Panamanians are super friendly for the most part, but you might not know that if you’re locked up in the house all the time. You might be feeling like Panamanians want nothing to do with you and you can’t seem to find any of these expats in Panama you heard so much about. Trust me, I know. I’ve walked through areas that I heard were crawling with expats, and didn’t see a single one. When I did my report on Volcan, I saw not one single foreigner (at least not one obvious foreigner). I take that back, I did see two backpackers walking through town, but I mean I didn’t see anyone who lived there. And I’ve always heard that Volcan has a sizeable expat community.

And finding a fellow foreigner doesn’t always mean they’ll be nice to you, lol. It’s sad, but true. Many people move to Panama to escape their fellow countrymen and you might bump into some of these unpleasant people. There are some people hiding out in Panama’s little towns, who aren’t very nice. Don’t get me wrong, there are friendly foreigners all over the place. Just hop on the Internet and check out any of the Facebook or Yahoo groups. The people sharing info are the nice ones. The ones that simply tell you to pick another country, with no explanation…those are the ones you don’t want to bother with. 

How do you deal with this?

I’ve already mentioned taking classes, but it applies here as well. If you enroll in a Spanish class, you’ll not only learn the language, but you’ll meet people as well, people who, like you, are doing what it takes to get by here. You’ll also feel more comfortable speaking with Panamanians. Panamanians are great people, but many of them don’t speak English. Plus, many who do are usually embarrassed to try to speak English, so if you want to make friends with Panamanians, speaking Spanish will help a lot. Panamanians appreciate it when we try.

Join other classes too. This will help immensely when it comes to fighting off boredom, which I’ll talk more about in the next topic. If you want to meet people, you have to get out of the house. Join a yoga class, a martial arts class, or any other kind of class you find available. Go to a gym. Casco Viejo/Casco Antiguo often has stuff going on, like salsa classes or martial arts classes.

I’ve mentioned the Facebook groups already, but check there too. You’ll find groups like YEP, Young Expats in Panama, which is always holding get-togethers in local bars and restaurants. https://www.facebook.com/YoungExpatsinPanama.PARTIES?fref=ts

This is tomorrow, so short notice, but Roba Morena puts on these things all the time

You might even find clubs to join. I recently saw a book club meeting where club members were getting together to read Game of Thrones. I love Game of Thrones, but I’ve already read the book and not sure I can sit through it again (it’s a long freakin’ book, man). Things like the Roba Moreno recycling fairs are great chances to get out and meet people too. http://www.robamorena.com/feriayoreciclo/

I just need someone to talk to – You may find yourself just needing someone to talk to. It’s not quite the same as needing friends to hang out with at the bar or people to get together with to watch the Super Bowl. Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. You just need to talk to people and vent your frustrations.

How do you handle this?

One good way to handle this, and it’s kind of like old school diary writing or keeping a journal, is to start your own blog. Why not? Everyone else is doing it. It doesn’t matter how many readers you have or how many visitors you get on your blog. It matters that you have your own story to tell. If you want to talk about your trouble finding toilet paper that doesn’t cut your rump, just do it. I have to tell you, when you have something to say, speaking to someone, even when it’s writing it out on a blog, can feel great. And it's free unless you go the difficult route. Wordpress.com and Blogger.com and many others offer free blogs. You’ll just have to play around with it until you figure it out. Who knows, maybe you’ll help someone else with a problem by writing something you’ve gone through.

Dr. Juha Lehti, the Net Psychiatrist at www.onlinepsychiatrist.net

Another great resource for helping you combat depression and to help you just get things off your chest, is my good friend, Dr. Juha Lehti. Dr. Juha Lehti, is a psychiatrist from Finland, living here in Panama, and since he knows all about being an expat, he's literally been there. Now he’s running a web psychiatry site. He can help you with depression and a lot of other issues, all without ever having to leave your home. He’ll meet with you over the Internet through live one-on-one chat sessions, kind of like Skype. It’s something new that he’s doing and I think it’s an awesome idea. He speaks English, Spanish, and of course, Finnish. He’s offering free consultations to our readers, so if you need to speak with a specialist, check out Dr. Juha Lehti's website at: www.onlinepsychiatrist.net.

I don't know if I can handle the boredom – You can definitely find things to do if you live in the city, but if you’re like me, and have lived in places like Chicago or New York City, you might find life in Panama to be a bit boring, especially if you live out in the interior. I used to take my kids to the Naperville Children’s Museum in the Chicago area or to the Seaquarium or to Navy Pier. We’d go for a walk down Michigan Ave. When I first moved to Panama, I felt really bored. I couldn’t really just walk somewhere. It’s not like that here. Not unless you live in downtown Panama City, and even then, Panama City still isn’t really a walking town (cracked sidewalks and crazy traffic might make you think twice about hoofing it).

This kid's not letting boredom get to him

If you live in the interior you might hit the beach, go walking on a mountain trail, or swim in a river. You might fish or get together with others at an expat or local hangout, but you can only do those things so often before you might find yourself bored again.

Go to the mall and do some climbing like Nico and Matteo

Or maybe it’s not finding something fun to do that’s got you bored in the first place. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re no longer working. Think about it, you’ve probably worked most of your life. You had to get up to that dreaded alarm, shuffle through your daily get-up-and-go routine, then spend 8-10 (maybe more) hours of your day trying to earn a paycheck. You don’t have to do that anymore. We spend most of our lives dreaming about the moment we no longer have to worry about working, then, when the time comes to retire, the lack of daily responsibility can be almost alarming.

What do you do when you no longer have anything to do?

How do you deal with this?

Let’s start with that last problem first. As difficult as it might seem (and it is difficult) you have to remember why you moved to Panama in the first place. It’s time to relax. If you’re not still working here, you can finally just chill out, and not worry about having daily duties. Allow yourself time with a book in your hammock or time to just walk the dog around the block. Allow yourself the freedom you waited all this time for.

Allow yourself time to relax

Do some tourist activities. You’re in a foreign country. Panama has a lot to offer if you just get with the program. Look online on websites and in the Facebook groups. You can go river rafting, visit some of the indigenous tribes, take a tour through Panama City, or go on a walking tour through Casco Viejo. My friend Sharon is taking people on tours through the old town. Check out her website at www.cascoantiguotours.com. Go ziplining or spend the night in an all-inclusive resort. Go dancing. You’re in Panama, so get out and act like it. If you don’t know how to dance, just do the gringo rock, the gringa sway.

Go see a movie. At the time of writing this article, the Cinemark theaters have an awesome deal. Every Thursday, if you show your PriceSmart shopping membership card, you get two tickets for the price of one. Wednesdays are the regular discount day when tickets are just over $2.

If you live in or around Panama City, start going to some of the conventions and fairs that take place at the ATLAPA Convention Center. I plan to start doing this myself. They’re usually free and you can gather a ton of info from these things (and usually take home free samples and all kinds of other prizes). The following link will take you to a web page that’s great for keeping up with events going on in the area: http://www.cuandopasa.com/index.php?v=m17000000b&p=2

If you’re still bored, take a trip by bus. Just ditch your car and hop on a bus. It’s incredibly cheap and will give you the chance to discover the small towns in Panama. Go horseback riding in El Valle de Anton, take a small boat over to Isla Iguana from the beach in Pedasi, go fishing in Volcan, hang out with other expats at a restaurant in Boquete. You don’t have to live in these places to enjoy them. You’re in Panama. The entire country can be your backyard (it's only about as big as Rhode Island). You’ll have a lot of fun, I’m sure of it.

Don't be afraid to take the bus (but try to get on the nice air-conditioned

ones you see at the top right of the photo

If traveling isn’t your thing, and you still feel the need to work, why don’t you volunteer with one of the churches, schools, or charitable organizations? Panama definitely has no shortage of places to volunteer. If you have musical talents, help teach music at one of the schools. If you’re a basketball coach, help teach basketball at a camp. I was asked to help coach flag football. If you're a pro, share your knowledge.

Living  in Panama, you can either choose to enjoy the boredom and immerse yourself in total relaxation, or don’t do that at all. There’s plenty to do if you look for it.

Sensory Overload – Panama can be a lot to take in for some people. Everyone thinks they’re ready to move to a warm, tropical paradise. Leaving the snow behind (the constant shoveling and scraping of ice off the windshield) sounds like paradise. But Panama is hot. It’s really hot and humid. I sweat a lot naturally, and I drink a ton of water which probably only makes me sweat more, lol. I’ve been here 5 years and I’m still trying to adapt to this. Let me say this again, Panama is hot and humid. You are going to sweat when you come here. Don’t be shocked by this. You’ll eventually adapt to it. I remember feeling miserable at one point. Now, I just feel sweaty. And I try to stay near a fan or an AC vent if possible.

Bugs are something else you may not be used to. Again, this is the tropics. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. People seem to forget this. They come here and they say, “Hey, I wanted the sun and the beach, but what’s with all the heat and humidity and mosquitos?”

If the heat really bothers you, you might want to move to a higher elevation town. Boquete has nice crisp evenings. So do the other mountain towns like El Valle de Anton and Volcan and Cerro Punta. The gated communities of Cerro Azul and Altos del Maria are also known for having cooler temperatures. Mosquitos are pretty much everywhere, as with most other bugs, so you’ll need to keep a can of Off around or some other kind of repellant.

The traffic is something else that will drive you mad, and if you live in Panama City, you won’t be able to escape it.

How do you handle this?

Unfortunately, the only real way to handle this is to give yourself time. You’ll need time to adapt to Panama’s heat, humidity, pesky little creatures, and the traffic. You can ease the traffic situation by getting the heck out of the city. Or buy a motorcycle. But for the most part, you’ll just need to give yourself time to adapt.

Focus on the good instead of dwelling on the bad, like your ability to 

buy fresh coconut water (known as pipa here) from this guy for $1

For an immediate fix, try to find places that remind you of home, like maybe a nice, air-conditioned cafe. Sometimes this can lead to some unnecessary spending though, as my home-away-from-home was Riba Smith when I first moved here. The Riba Smith supermarket in Costa del Este has wide aisles and tons of imported goods. Every time I enter that store, I lean on my grocery cart, and just relax. Multiplaza Mall is another spot that might make you feel a little closer to home as you'll recognize so many of the stores there. They even opened a Chuck-E-Cheese and a Ruby Tuesday recently. 

I think I’ve made a mistake – As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, you might find yourself thinking that you may have made a mistake. It’s normal. I’ve been through it and I’m sure many other readers have been through it. This is a foreign land and for everything that’s easier, there’s something else more difficult. The trick is to give yourself time. Don’t give up. Don’t you dare! Not yet! 

If you give up too early, you might not have the chance to be

this excited about slices of fresh mango

Try some of the things I mentioned in this article. If you haven’t tried them all, then you can’t give up yet. You owe yourself more time. You spent a lot of time considering this move, I’m sure. I don’t want to get all religious on you, but if nothing in this article helps, try to find a good church. That might even be your first step. Praying might help lift your spirits, and being around others might help you fight boredom, make a friend, learn a little Spanish, and could definitely help you feel like you fit in. Chances are, you didn’t make a mistake by coming here. You’re here. So rather than undo all the hard work that brought you here, find a way to make this make sense…or you’ll be kicking yourself later when you’re back home scraping ice off your windshield and picking up another DVD out of the Redbox at your local supermarket. Yup, I’ve been there J

Thanks for reading,

Chris