15 Tips to Mentally Prepare You for Life in Panama

I've been asked a few times recently about satisfaction among expats in Panama and what seems to drive people to pack up and leave. That's a tough question to answer because each person has his or her own story. It might be the constant humidity, the slower pace of life, traffic (if they live in Panama City), missing family and friends back home, boredom, or a number of other things that bothers someone enough to cause them to call it quits. 

You're probably thinking, "Boredom? Wait, what, Chris? How could someone be bored? They've waited all their life to retire, lie on a hammock, and sip wine while rereading the entire Nichols Sparks collection." Very true. George R. R. Martin is more my style, but whatever the reading material, yes, believe it or not, life can get dull when you've got the entire day free. 

Yes, even this can get boring

I won't get into that too much, but let's just say that it might take some getting used to. And other things about Panama might take some time to adjust to. That's what this article is all about. This is about the things you can do in the U.S. or in Canada or wherever you're living now to get a head start on mental preparation for this wild adventure you're waiting to begin. Doing some of these things now might help ease your mind a little bit when you finally settle down in Panama for the long haul. Now, I may have mentioned some of these things in other posts, but maybe not...I've written a lot, lol, I don't remember. 

Oh and one other thing. None of this is meant to be negative. It's just me joking around. So don't get sensitive on me. 

1. Rooster Alarm - The Corn Flakes commercial is a liar. I found out quickly the first time I visited the interior of this country that roosters don't quietly meander up to the fence post, take a look around, inhale a deep breath, and let out one long rooster crow before feeling satisfied and retiring back to the coop. 

This rooster in Penonome might be your new alarm clock

At least not in Panama. So, if you plan to move here, a good thing to do to practice and prepare yourself for life in the interior of this country, is to download the rooster alarm tone for your phone. Make sure you set it for "loud" and make sure you set it for 4:30am. Then, when it goes off at 4:30, make sure you have the snooze set to go off every two minutes, and let it do this all day. 

In towns like Rio Hato or Penonome or maybe even Aguadulce, plus some neighborhoods in larger cities, roosters may be as common as dogs, so prepare yourself in advance so you don't go nuts later. 

2. Start throwing yourself into traffic - You can't talk about real life in Panama City without touching on the subject of traffic. I sat in traffic about three hours yesterday trying to pick Mar up from work. This isn't so different from many other major cities though. What is different, is the need to throw yourself in front of other cars. 

You may have heard of the "juega vivo" attitude in Panama. It's basically the game of life and means players win by staying ahead of everyone else, so "me first." Nowhere is this more obvious than on the road. It's very, almost extremely, rare that anyone will let you pull out in front of them in traffic. No one is going to invite you into their lane. You literally have to step on the gas and put yourself in front of someone. It's risky, but it's how things are done here.

You'll have to force yourself into this

So, to prepare for this, just start pulling out in front of oncoming traffic (okay please be safe when you do this). If you want to get used to Panama City traffic, drive it like you stole it. Turn every day life into Grand Theft Auto (please don't really go steal cars or yank people out of the driver's side door and smack 'em around). 

3. Hire people to do stuff for you - One thing people look forward to when they think of moving to Panama is the option to have a maid clean your house (every day or a couple of days a week). You may even opt to have a live-in maid. Plus, other hands-on work you've always hated can be contracted out. Hire a gardener to make your home front look snazzy or just pay someone to mow the lawn. Get someone to clean your pool for you. Oftentimes they'll even come right to your door and offer their services. 

These guys are awesome!!!

These things sound great, right? Well, believe it or not, they may take some getting used to. My wife's family has had a maid working for them for about 15 years. She's like part of the family. They asked her to work for us when we first moved to Panama to make our adjustment easier. I have to say, I wasn't prepared for that. I grew up cleaning my own dishes and doing my own laundry so suddenly having someone around to do it was odd. I felt bad letting someone else clean my stuff. But it's her job and she's getting paid for it. It's like telling the bank teller you'll count your own cash or telling the barber you'll cut your own hair. You just don't do it. 

If you want to prepare for this, hire a complete stranger to walk back and forth in front of the TV while you watch the morning news. Have them clean stuff and move things around so that you can't find them later, lol. Seriously. That's what happens. Eventually you learn the person's ways and you come to really appreciate the help, but at first it's really weird having someone in your home, especially if they're a live-in maid. 

4. Random honking - This is something else I've mentioned several times in the past. Panamanians honk their car horns all the time. They honk to let people know they're passing their driveway, they honk when they see a pretty girl (or a handsome guy), they honk to say, "Hey, up yours, pal!," and they honk to let you know it's okay to start driving again as soon as the light turns green. 

Taxi drivers are the worst

To prepare yourself for this, just start honking at everything. When you're sitting at the traffic light, keep your hand at the ready. Just wait for it. Then, as soon as it turns green, just lay your whole elbow against the horn. Let it rip. Make sure the people in front of you know you're in a hurry and they need to get the hell out of your way. 

Then, wait 'till you see an attractive person on the sidewalk and honk like a madman. Don't let people pull out of their driveways. Instead, speed up, and just as they're about to hit you, hold down your horn and laugh maniacally as you pass. Do it. Prepare yourself for Panama and enjoy the process, it's extremely liberating. 

5. Stop doing all your shopping at one place - No more Walmart, pal! Just give it up. Stop cold turkey. And no more Target either. Instead of buying a bunch of stuff that you kind of like from one store, start to appreciate the finer things in life. And when I say finer, I mean specialty items you can only get at one place (and I don't mean that special pumpkin puree you can only find at Whole Foods).

Stop buying your produce in supermarkets

In Panama, it's very common for people to go to their favorite bakery to get the bread they can't do without. Then, they'll stop by a business (that's actually in someone's home) that bakes the best cakes. Then, they'll go to a fresh produce market to pick up cheap fruits and vegetables. Then, they'll go to a supermarket to get their meats from their favorite butcher before heading over to the Mercado de Mariscos for all their seafood needs. Instead of buying bulk in one shop, start buying what you really like from different vendors. This is life in Panama. 

6. Embrace the cold shower - I swear only Anchorage, Alaska, and Chicago, Illinois rival Panama when it comes to freezing cold water (I've never been to Canada). Maybe it's because your body becomes so used to the hot humid atmosphere. Then, when water is lukewarm, it feels like it's minus 30. 

"But, Chris, I'll make sure I have a hot water heater," you might be thinking. Okay, fair enough. But will your friends and hotels and family members? Chances are, not everyone will have a hot water heater. I've stayed at hotels where my options were to take a freezing cold shower or trust the external water heater device that was plugged in above the mirror and had exposed wires. I went with the cold shower. 

So, to prepare for this, just go without hot water. Do what I do. Stand under the shower head. Hesitate for about five minutes. Remember that hot shower you had that one time at that one bed & breakfast. Think about the cold shower you took in that small community of Nancito in Chiriqui, Panama. Quietly cringe and debate how clean your body really needs to be today. Then, reach out, grab the cold water faucet and crank that sucker up as high as it will go. Next, scream, arch your back, and do that funky little, "Holy cow this is cold" dance. That's how it's done. 

Preparing for no water

And better yet. Fill a big jug full of cold water and take a slow shower under that little stream, just to prepare yourself for the frequent water outages that will occur. I woke up this morning to my daughters warning me the water was out. It happens quite frequently in my neighborhood as there's a lot of construction going on near our house. So, I went out to our emergency water tank we keep full outside, filled up some jugs, and the family showered, brushed teeth, and cooked using this water. 

7. Get used to Spanish subtitles - Whether you're watching TV in your home or out at the movie theater catching the newest flick, there's a good chance you'll be watching it with Spanish subtitles. At Panama movie theaters you have two options. You can either watch a movie that's dubbed in Spanish or watch it in original English format, but with Spanish subtitles. So if you're the type of person who refuses to watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or Pan's Labyrinth simply because you can't stand seeing a movie with subtitles at the bottom, you might want to rethink your move (or stick to watching your DVD collection).

Even Netflix here in Panama automatically assumes you want Spanish subtitles on every show and movie. Of course, you can turn them off, but each and every show starts with subtitles. This is great if you have Panamanian family or friends around wanting to watch with you, it just might take some getting used to on your part.

The Walking Dead on Netflix

So, going forward, from now until you arrive in Panama, put subtitles at the bottom of your movies and turn the captions on on your TV. You don't have to read them (although Spanish subtitles might help you learn Spanish) but seeing them in front of you for two hours at a time will help you prepare yourself for your new movie-watching experience. 

8. Spanish speaking announcers - If you have basic cable here (and not some sort of special black box), you need to know ahead of time that nearly every sporting event you watch will come with Spanish-speaking announcers. 

Yes, this means NFL, UFC, boxing events, and even WWE wrestling. What's super annoying is that you might hear the English speaking announcers there in the background, but they're being overpowered by the Spanish-speaking announcers. The English words you crave are so close...yet oh so far away. If you're lucky, you might find a channel or two that actually plays the event in full English, but be ready to watch with Spanish subtitles. On a side note, you might also miss out on the American commercials during the Super Bowl. This drove me nuts last year. Instead of the cool, hilarious commercials I was waiting for, I got to watch a boring Panamanian version of a Miller Light commercial and maybe three other boring commercials that played over and over again.

If you like wrestling, get ready to listen to these guys

So, to prepare yourself, hire a Spanish-speaking friend to sit next to you on the couch as you watch any sporting event. Then, try really hard to hear the English-announcers while your friend shouts out everything he sees on the screen in Spanish. This should prepare you :)

9. Click "Save" a lot - Internet is high speed (ish) in Panama and electricity is dependable (ish) in Panama. I've been here just over five years and for some reason it seems that in the last two years, I've noticed a lot more power outages than before. This might just mean a short dip or it might mean going without power all day long. I live in Panama City and experience this, and I know people who live in towns in the interior and have complained it.

To prepare yourself for this, start constantly saving any work you do on your computer. Click save every minute or so. You may develop a nervous twitch, haha, but at least your work will not get deleted. 

And if you really want to prepare for this, just tell your spouse or an older child, to randomly, maybe once a week (okay power outages don't happen that often here, but it'll make practice more interesting) turn off the circuit breaker. They shouldn't let you know when they'll do this. You could be watching the NBA finals, taking a hot shower, shaving your face...whenever. Have fun with it. 

10. Cook a little more than usual - Not more often, but more as in the amount of food you cook. Let me explain. When I first moved here, I'd prepare about two pounds of ground beef, two packs of spaghetti, with two jars of sauce. I have four kids so this worked out great. 

That was until family started showing up. Suddenly, as soon as the spaghetti was finished, I'd hear someone at the door. It never failed. Family members showed up when they were invited and even when they weren't. In Panama, family and friends are everything. So be prepared for visitors and cook a little more. Now, I typically make three pounds of beef, three packages of spaghetti, and three jars of sauce. 

To prepare for this, just pretend a family of three is going to ring your doorbell at any moment. And if you don't want your food to go to waste, give it to the homeless or actually invite family and friends over for dinner. 

11. Loud music is a part of life - I don't think it matters where you live in Panama, you better be prepared to hear a variety of music at any hour of the day. At one point, when I lived in Villa Lucre (a small neighborhood in Panama City), there was a night club (disco) right behind my house. I swear reggaeton (Latin reggae) would start at 7pm and would continue until about 9am. Then, the neighbors on my street would play their music as well. One house was the home of an older couple who loved tipico music. So hearing an accordion was very common in the afternoon and early evening. The other house was the home of a young college guy who'd play club, pop, salsa, merengue, and reggaeton late at night on the weekends. 

You should have been there when I was painting the house. It was a Saturday afternoon and reggaeton, salsa, and tipico filled the air. I had my stereo outside and I cranked up my country music. It was an awful, strange blend of music as Charlie Daniels tried to out sing Samy y Sandra Sandoval and Marc Anthony. 

This is the site of my music melting pot paint job

How do you prepare for this? Well, the fun way is to wait until your spouse is sleeping (he or she is moving to Panama with you, right?). Then, creep outside of the bedroom window, pop in a Spanish-language cd (just go with one of Marc Anthony's salsa tunes, you can find his stuff anywhere), turn it all the way up, and push play. Then sit back and laugh as your spouse rolls out of bed and curses you out for the next half hour. 

12. Go fry crazy - I don't say any of this to pick on Panamanians. I love my new people. It's all just fun and games. But honestly, y'all fry everything. Panamanians fry bread (hojaldres), they fry pastries (empanadas), they fry chicken, they fry, they fry tuna, and they fry lunch meat. 

If you don't cook it in your own home, there's a good chance you'll be buying it fried somewhere on a Panamanian street. Okay, don't get me wrong, Panamanians make delicious soup and they do roast and rotisserie chicken and meat sometimes, but the majority of Panama food is fried. 

This is how it's done

So, to prepare for this, start frying everything. Fry breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'll never forget when my mom-in-law visited the U.S. for the first time. She's an awesome cook. But I wasn't used to eating so much fried stuff. For breakfast she'd fry eggs, tortillas, hot dogs (salchichas), and even made french fries...for breakfast. My dad used to toss some potatoes in oil with a weekend dinner or something, but she made a pile of french fries with breakfast. It blew my mind. 

13. Be prepared for quirky road rules - Not only traffic congestion is an issue in Panama, but the addition of some strange road rules can make things confusing. Most of these come into play when Panamanian traffic police are doing all they can to ease that congestion. 

For example, on certain roads, at certain times of the morning or in the evening (rush hour periods), traffic patterns change. You have to be very careful making your way around the city and its suburbs at these times of the day. A road that usually goes in both directions, might suddenly change to a one-way, two-lane road between 6am and 8am. 

Look for signs like this

I've seen people pull onto these streets expecting it to be a regular road, like it usually is, only to come to a screeching halt just before smashing head first into an oncoming car. 

So, if you want to prepare for this, start going the wrong way on a one-way street. Just go for it. Drive straight at an oncoming car, then slam on your brakes at the last second. No, seriously, don't do that. Don't listen to me at all. It's safer that way. 

14. Be ready to hear new music - I don't mean new as in salsa and merengue and tipico and reggaeton. Sure, those styles of music may be completely foreign to you, and you can easily prepare yourself by purchasing a few cds you wouldn't normally listen to.

What I'm talking about is music in English you've probably never heard in your life. I don't know any of the radio stations off the top of my head (as I've stopped listening to most of them and have gone back to my cds and mp3 mixes), but I can tell you that the few times I've tried to find English music on the radio, I was shocked by what I found. 

It seemed that the only music I could find (in English) other than the newer pop and dance stuff that's mixed in with Spanish music, was 80s music. And I don't mean, "You can dance if you wanna..." or "Walk like an Egyptian..." I'm talking the strangest, oddest tunes I've ever heard. I was alive in the 80s and I happen to like 80s music, but I'd never heard 9 out of 10 of the songs played on the radio. I kept thinking, "Where did they get this crap?" It's like the DJs flew to Borat's country and asked what American or British music they listened to in the 80s. 

Maybe something from this soundtrack

So, to prepare for this, bring lots of music you enjoy with you and be ready to listen to a lot of music online. And if you really want to prepare for that strange 80s music you'll hear, maybe find a VCR, go to all your local pawn shops and pick up any 80s movie you've never heard of, and watch them just for the music. Good luck!

15. Religion returns to schools - Yes, Panama is doing it right, in my opinion (sorry if you disagree). Religion is a part of the school system here in Panama. If you go to a public school or a private school, there's probably a 99% chance your child will be taking a religion (and ethics and values) class. And, of course, if your kids go to a Catholic school, or a Jewish school, or a Muslim school, there's 100% chance they'll be learning religion. So, if you have school-age children, be mentally prepared for this. There's no escaping it. God isn't being taken out of the national anthem here and God isn't being taken out of the schools. I hope this doesn't turn off any fans/readers. We all have the right to our opinions and I respect yours whether I agree with or not. But religion in schools is a fact here. 

16. What happened to our fortunes? - Okay, one extra, and on a much lighter note. Well, not really since I love fortune cookies. 

Seriously, do it. 

No more fortune cookies. Seriously. It's sad, I know. I guess fortune cookies are a wacky gringo thing because Panama has a lot of Chinese residents, and quite a few Chinese restaurants, but I've yet to see a freakin' fortune cookie. And I'm sorry to say there really is no way to prepare for this. You just have to accept the heartbreak as it comes.

Well, that's it for my 15 Tips to Mentally Prepare You for Life in Panama. I hope you learned a few things and had some fun in the process. If you feel that some things are missing, such as preparing for green olives being in most of your food, check out my other articles, like 10 Things You Will Hate About Panama by clicking HERE or 15 Quirky Things About Panama And Its People by clicking HERE. 

Don't forget to head over to http://www.PanamaForReal.com to check out all the other tips and tricks I've written about living here and to see the videos, something you're completely missing out on if you're only reading The Stay at Home Gringo. 

Thanks again for reading,

Chris

More Funny Politics in Panama

Good morning,

Well, the carnaval season is over and it's time to get back to business, or at least the goofy business that is Panama politics (politics from any country actually). 

I had no intention of writing a follow up to my "Funny Politics in Panama" blog post, but with the political season in full swing, I can't help but stare at the new posters lined up and down every street in Panama City. And it's not just in the city. I recently returned from a trip to David in Panama's interior and the political ads stretch the entire length of the Pan-American Highway. 

You know me. Rather than get annoyed by these things, I spend my time sitting in traffic, trying to find something amusing about each one, and I thought I'd share some of these random thoughts with you guys. Maybe it'll make your time stuck in the daily grind a little more enjoyable. It's fun. Just pay attention to the pictures and the nicknames. 

Tio Gabriel, the novela bad guy of the Panama political circuit

Tio Gabriel is one of my favorites. This guy has so much bling. He looks like a serious bad ass. Every time I see his pictures, with the watch, bracelet, necklace, and chest hair, I can't help seeing one of the crime bosses in my wife's telenovelas. All he's missing is the cowboy hat and he could be one of those mean oil tycoons. 

Don't mess with Tio Gabriel

Even the name "Tio" which is Spanish for uncle says a lot. In the photo above, he's campaigning with  his buddy, "Fulo" Erick. Fulo is a nickname that basically means blonde or light haired. I can see these two in a novela scene right now. 

"Que Tal? What did you come to see me for Fulo?"

"Well, I'm sorry, Tio. But everyone knows you go see Tio Gabriel when you have a problem that needs taken care of." 

"So you need me to whack somebody? Good, done. I'll call on you one day for a favor. Now leave Tio Gabriel and go on about your business."

Tio could be the coolest, most down-to-earth person on the planet, so don't take my word for it. Maybe he's just a really great uncle. 

This is how you know he's a good guy

I see the photo above, every morning when I drive my kids to school, and each day I look at it and kind of chuckle. I love seeing the political posters depicting candidates as every day, caring, supportive members of society. I'm sure many of them are. But I'm not sure I believe Varela heads out to local parks, in his white linen shirt, and helps kids slide down the slide while they eat duros (frozen juice out of a cup). 

If anything, as a parent, I might be concerned about the strange man at the slide feeding my kids frozen treats. And let's not mention the choking hazard. 

I'm a parent of 4 and it's rare that I help my kids go down the slide. I'd rather stand off on the side and laugh when they go flying off (I'm totally kidding, I would never do that). 

Aww, I love you too little lady

Here's another one. This poster cracks me up because I'm guessing her campaign manager wanted to show that Roxana is loved by the public, but look at Roxana's face. It's kind of like she's thinking, "Haha, this is so awkward. Umm, yes, I'm glad I cleaned up the parks too. Okay now. Okay. Really...okay now. Somebody...anybody...please help get this lady off of me."

Blandón!

José Blandón, or the man whose name is a pain in the ass to type because I have to figure out how to do the ´ mark twice. This guys is on a lot of posters and he always looks so slick. Seriously, his shirt always matches his hair. Something about him makes me think of the opening credits to the TV show "Top Chef." He just looks like he'd be there, with his hands folded in front of his chest. 

I started out yelling his name in the car, just to see if I could do the accent marks right, "Blandón!" Heavy on the "O." Now, I love the word. It's become my new word. It's fun to use in situations where you may have, in the past, yelled, "Booyah!" Or, "In your face!" Or, "Domino mutha bleep!"

So, when my wife says to me, "I thought you said the keys were on the counter."

I reply, "They are."

She says, "No, they're not."

I walk over, point to the keys, and ever so politely yell, "Blandón!"

This guy's all ears

Orejitas. Orejitas means ears. This guy calls himself ears. And he looks so happy about it. I love it! I grew up with gapped teeth, still have 'em, and I would've never thought to call myself "Gaps." I might just start doing that. Chris "Gaps" Powers for district 9. 

Orejitas is even part of "The New Force"

I don't even know what this guy's real name is. It's nowhere on the poster. So he really wants to be referred to as Orejitas. Unless he came out of the womb and his mom said, "Little Charles Celis." And his dad shook his head and said, "No way. Look at this kid's ears. He's Orejitas Celis, and one day he will rule the world. Why? Because he will have no choice but to listen to the people." I can hear you guys beating on the corny joke drums now. Ba dum tss!

From far away he's all business

This guy is going to hate me. Maybe he was just nervous when taking this photo or maybe he just chopped a bunch of onions, but I swear, look at his eyes, he looks hungover. 

But up close he's all party

I know the look because I've been there. The beady, red eyes, threatening to close on you. I imagine his campaign manager said, "Let's take the picture today." And he was like, "Last night was the Barcelona VS Madrid game man. You can't be serious. Fine, just take the friggin' picture. Who's gonna notice?" 

For the rest of this post, I'm just gonna hit you with some photos and my short thoughts on 'em in the captions.

The Rock, but with less muscles and more hair

"Big Sexy" AKA "The Velvet Teddybear"

the other dude looks like his ventriloquist puppet 

Nothing wrong with this guy, but his running mate goes by the name

 Etzel "Negrita" Peña, which basically means Etzel "Little black girl" Peña

The Panamanian John Lovitz

The real John Lovitz

Beby when he's busy hanging out with the public

Beby when he has time to reflect on the fact 

that he actually put the name Beby on his poster 

New TV show coming to TVN:

One grinning, balding man and two Stepford Wives

Dr. Baseball (he seriously calls himself that) because what we all want 

in a representative is someone who truly understands the game of baseball

Okay, I think that's it for this political fun. Soon they'll all be spray painted with dollar signs over their faces (the Panamanian way for saying the person is a crook). 

All joking aside, this was all meant to be fun. To all the politicians shown here, please, if you're in a position to put me in jail...ever...just remember I was joking, and when you think about it...this was free publicity. 

Thanks for reading,

Chris

Don't forget to check out http://www.PanamaForReal.com and don't forget to "like" us on Facebook here or "like" and "share" our Youtube channel here. 

A New Video for Expat Kids

Hello again,

This is going to be a really short post. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here before, but my kids were so excited to be a part of Panama For Real, that Marlene and I were thinking it would be great to give them their own project. As much as we love including the whole family in our videos when we travel, we don't want the location reports to become Powers family vacation videos. So, how could we get them more involved?

Our new video even shows you the words 

to the Spanish version of Happy Birthday

Well, after reading through tons of emails from young families relocating to Panama, we figured out the perfect project for our kids. Oftentimes young business owners, with online companies, are content with being virtually present, meaning it doesn't matter where they are physically. So they plan an early retirement, chillin' out beachside while they conduct business on a laptop. That, or young people are often brought to Panama to assist a Panamanian business. This means, the spouse and sometimes even young children are kind of forced into an overseas move. That can be downright scary. Can you imagine? At a young age being told that you're going to leave your family and friends and go to a country where everyone speaks a different language? 

The kids had a blast making this new video

(Victoria and Nico on the right)

Well, that's the reason we started Kidpats. Estefania (11), Victoria (9), Matteo (5), and Nicolas (5) have been living that reality. They've had it a little bit easier with Marlene's family being here, but the girls didn't even speak Spanish when we moved here (the boys were infants and didn't speak much of anything at all). They've learned to make the best of this new lifestyle and our Kidpats series is aimed at helping other kids do the same. The idea is that you'll be able to sit your kids at the computer and let them see how our kids are handling a life in Panama. 

We just put our second video on the website, yesterday, and I wanted to share it with you guys. This one is all about birthday parties in Panama. You'll find our first video, with the kids hanging out at Parque Omar, on the site as well. We really hope you enjoy these. The kids are bugging me to do another one, so we should have others out soon. 

For some reason blogger is giving me a hard time embedding the video here in this blog, but if you follow the link below, it'll take you right to the page of our site that has the video. You can also see it on Youtube. Here's the link to the new Kidpats video:

http://www.panamaforreal.com/kidpats/kidpats-birthday-parties-in-panama/

Monday Q and A - Traveling around Panama, contacting home, best places to visit, and much more.

Happy New Year!

Can you believe it's 2014 already, the year President Martinelli plans to finish up everything? Seriously, living in Panama, it seems the answer to every challenge and every new project is, "It will be completed in 2014." 

At El Panama Hotel

So hopefully this year means an end to our traffic woes (with the new Metro train station due to be completed by the end of this year). I hope you all had the chance to see our New Year video. I posted it on our Panama For Real Facebook page and on our Youtube channel, but incase you missed it, here's the link to that video. I tried to embed it, but for some reason it's not working right now. So here's that link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk4NwThXo0

We had a great time at El Panama Hotel with Orquesta Zafiro, Samy y Sandra Sandoval, and Aldo Ranks all performing until very early the next morning. I think the music stopped at 6am. I retired to the hotel room with the boys at about 1am. They passed out right away. Marlene and the girls partied until about 4am. It was a lot of fun.

The boys made it 'till just after midnight, then passed out

So, I took a brief holiday break to spend time with the family, but I'm back now, and ready to get today's Monday Q and A going. We've got a lot of information to cover as I've been receiving lots of emails over the past two weeks. As always, I invite you to add to my answers in the comments section. So many people have so much great info to offer, so let's all share. Okay, here we go.

Les wrote (via email): 

"Just read your article on taking the bus and being scammed for baggage charges. My wife and I will arive in Panama mid January and plan to travel around the country a fair bit. We're from Canada, currently in Ecuador for 3 months, and now realizing we packed way too heavy. We have two large 50-pound suitcases and two smaller ones about 25-pounds each. I think it would be reasonable for the bus company to charge us for extra baggage, but wondering if you have any info to share on that point? Also, the security of bags checked under the bus, how is that monitored? Thanks in advance for any info or advice you can share with us."

Chris replied:

"Hi Les,

"You'll be glad to know there are a lot of Canadians here. There's even a Canadian Report every Wednesday from my friend Michael Drouillard on Cool 89.3 FM. If you haven't seen Michael's site, you should definitely check it out at www.canpanconnection.ca. He has a lot of great info on his site and he's a really nice guy. 

"As far as I know, you shouldn't be charged any extra for bags. I've been told that no one pays extra for bags. I know when you're just here visiting, and have all your vacation cash, an extra $5 doesn't seem like much, so if it's mentioned and you're okay with that, then go ahead and pay it. I don't think it'll even be mentioned though. I just happened to run into a crook. I've been here a long time and I don't have the money I had when I first arrived. I live like a local and definitely notice when someone is price gouging me, so every $5 counts, lol.

On the Coaster bus from Pedasi to Las Tablas

"Depending on what kind of bus you're taking, and this depends a lot on where you're traveling, you may find your bags on top of a Coaster-style bus or in the bottom compartment of a nice Greyhoud-style bus. To be honest with you, there's no real security system in place for your bag. But I suppose it's no different from having your bag thrown into the bottom of a bus in the U.S. or anyplace else. Once it's in, it's in. I'd just hang around and watch them stow it away. Then get off the bus quickly enough and wait for your bag. If you don't, they will just sit it out on the curb until you get there (that's probably the biggest security risk). 

"Keep anything valuable on you or in a carry-on just in case. I've never had anything taken out of my bags while riding the bus and I've ridden quite a few. Hope this helps. Thanks for checking out the site and for your email."

Dan wrote (via email):

"Do Telechip International cards only work from pay phones, as I've read, or from cell phones and private phones as well? Enjoyed the travelogue about Penonomé, but it doesn't seem to be a place we'd like. Thanks anyway because the towns/areas and cities that are not to our liking are useful information also."

Chris replied:

"Hi Dan,

"I've never used a Telechip International card on a payphone. I use mine from a regular landline phone. I've never tried on a cell phone. I've called the U.S. from a cell phone here, with the regular prepaid minutes cards. It works fine that way, it just eats up your minutes really fast. When I first moved here, before discovering the Telechip International cards, I'd just buy a $5 or $10 Movistar card (I have my cell phone set up with Movistar), put the minutes into the phone, then call family just as I usually would on any phone. I know I was able to have at least one fairly long conversation. So if you're only calling every once in awhile, that can be an option too, but the Telechip International cards work great and allow more talk time.

"By the way, in order to use your foreign cell phone here in Panama, you'll need to take it to one of the cell phone shops, like the one in the photo below, and have it unlocked. This usually costs about $30, but can vary depending on your phone. An iPhone will probably cost more than one of the old free Nokias. Once it's unlocked, you'll be able to put the chip in from one of Panama's cell phone providers, and use it like a local, with a Panama phone number.

Get your foreign cell phone unlocked for use in Panama

at small cell phone shops like this

"Thanks for checking out the Penonomé report. Even if you don't imagine living in some of the places we report on, they could still make excellent mini-vacations once you're here."

For anyone wanting to check out the Penonomé written report, click here.

For the Penonomé video report, click here. 


Ariel wrote (via email):

"I'm seeking out expatriate communities because it's been my dream to buy a house (someday) in Panama. I'm starting with visiting for spring break. I may join a school or research team, but if not, I want to travel safely as a single female. 

"Funny side note, I'm pretty racially ambiguous and even in Vietnam I melted into the crowd easily. I do speak some Spanish but not fluently. I mostly understand it. I'm studying to be an ESL teacher among other subjects.

"So my question is, where are my best resources for connecting to young non-retired communities?"

Chris replied:

"Hi Ariel,

"Are you wanting to live in Panama City or in the interior? If you're looking for young, non-retired folks, you'll probably need to stay in Panama City for the most part. At least start your adventure there. 

A little late, but...Yep's New Year's Eve event

"My best contact for young expats (and to all the readers, like myself, I know we're all young, right?) would be Skyler, who runs Young Expats in Panama (YEP). The link to the facebook page is below. They're constantly having cool hangouts, meet-and-greets, and fun parties. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/youngexpatsinpanama/

"I think your best bet, since you're not here yet, would be to get involved in some of the Panama Facebook groups and meet people. I see young expats on these pages all the time. Some of the good ones to know are:

Playa Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/54462871494/

Expats in Panama: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2397416901/

Tropical Cowboys and Cowgirls: https://www.facebook.com/groups/tropicalcowboys/

Panama, land of my heart: https://www.facebook.com/groups/9190600325/

Where? When? How? Panama!: https://www.facebook.com/groups/536740279713342/

"There are others, of course, bust those are just a few to get you started, if you haven't done that already. If any readers have additional info for helping Ariel get in touch with young expats, please tell us in the comments below."

Dave wrote (via email): 

"Hi Chris, I'm going to be in Panama in February. What places do you suggest for a 2-3 area experience in your adopted country. I love golf, beaches, yoga, and I love to dance. I'm not a heavy partier but enjoy beautiful, healthy women." 

Chris replied:

"Hey Dave. Are you planning to move here eventually or you just want 2-3 beach destinations worth visiting? 

"If you're just coming for vacation and want the cool places to hang out, I'd say:

Bocas del Toro
Isla Grande
San Blas

"If you're thinking of living here, and are scoping out where you might want to eventually base yourself, I'd say:

Coronado (beach area with most expats)

Coronado from a condo balcony

Pedasi (best beach area for surfers, expats from all over the world live here, it's a small town)

Best beaches for surfing in Pedasi

Bocas del Toro (popular beach area, I hear people looking to move here mention it all the time)

"Some other cool places to visit: 

El Valle de Anton (mountain area, but has horse/ATV rentals, ziplining, great fruit/vegetable and souvenir market for tourists)

Amazing sunsets in El Valle de Anton

Casco Viejo (great place to visit in the city, full of jazz bars, hip restaurants and clubs, old fashioned architecture, etc.)

Close up on Casco Viejo

Portobelo (on the Caribbean side near Isla Grande, has cool pirate history, still has canons set up and everything)

Awesome pirate history in Portobelo

Amador Causeway (in the city, has nice restaurants on the water, can rent a bike and cruise up and down the strip)

Go for lunch, for a jog, or for a bike ride on the causeway

"If you want to stay at a resort:

Nitro City (plenty of activities, like windsurfing, surfing...just check out the website) http://www.nictrocitypanama.com/

Gamboa Resort (all kinds of rainforest activities) http://www.gamboaresort.com/

Playa Blanca (all inclusive beach resort) http://www.playablancaresort.com/

Hotel Decameron (all inclusive beach resort) http://decameronhotelpanama.com

"That's all I can think of right now. Everyone has his or her favorite resort in Panama, so maybe others will chime in in the comments section and let you know about some other great places to visit."

Allison wrote (via email):

"Happy New Year! I wanted to "pick your brain" and was wondering if you have any ideas for restaurants to try and dine at next week when Ray and I are in Panama City. We are staying at the Courtyard Marriott at Multiplaza Mall. We have not stayed in the city before, so I don't know the layout so to speak. Are there any good restaurants you would recommend near our hotel, or in the mall? They can be Americanized restaurants or not, doesn't matter."

Chris replied:

"Hey Allison and Ray!!!

"I'm glad to hear you're still moving forward with your move. You're gonna be in a great spot at the hotel because you have everything nearby. There's a lot of construction going on right there, but that's usually during the day so it shouldn't bother you much.

"As far as restaurants, at the mall alone you have Fridays, Benihanas, Tony Romas, and a handful of other great restaurants. In the food court you'll find one of my favorite places to eat, Leños y Carbon (you have to try the Pollo Gratinado, butterflied chicken breast covered in melted cheese, and if you'd rather have steak, my wife likes the Punta Palomilla). I know there was a Ruby Tuesday opening up, but I don't think it has yet. And Multiplaza has a movie theater too, just make sure any movie you want to watch is Subtitulada (in English with Spanish subtitles).

"If you like sushi, my favorite seafood/sushi restaurant is right next to the mall. Just look for the 3 big towers next to the mall parking lot, called Torre de Las Americas. The restaurant is called Sake and is located inside the main tower. Just walk out of your hotel, walk through the mall to the opposite end, cross the parking lot, enter the main tower and you'll find it inside the main door on the left hand side. Their website is http://www.sakepanama.com/en/.

"Oh and a good website to know, if you ever want to check restaurant reviews here in Panama is www.degustapanama.com. I think it's mostly in Spanish, but at least you can see how many stars the restaurant you're curious about has earned. Hope some of this helps."

Paul wrote (via comments on PFR site): 

"Chris, thank you sooo much for getting this project going! I came across your blog, which in turn led me here (PFR site), after searching for info on putting kids in school in Panama. 

"Originally from Seattle, after 10+ years building a life, family, and business in Bolivia, my wife and I feel it's time to leave here, but the States is not very appealing to my wife. We took a short vacation to Panama a couple of months ago on a whim and LOVED it, and the idea has been getting on us ever since to relocate there.

"Your site will undoubtedly help us save a lot of time in doing initial research before we make a trip back to see in person where might be the best fit for us. Best of luck with your endeavor/adventure, and just a side note--have you considered a donation option so people who benefit from your site and would like to could be able to contribute?"

Chris replied:

"Hi Paul. Wow...Bolivia. I hope some of the info on the site helps you guys with your decision. To answer your question, I did recently (like a week ago) put a donation button in the right sidebar of the website. It just says something like, "All this info is free, but if you'd like to buy us a coffee or a beer, you can do so by clicking here." It goes to my Paypal account. So far no donations, but of course any is seriously appreciated. Right now all of the money for traveling (and everything else) is coming out of my pocket. Thanks for mentioning it and thanks again for making use of the site and for participating with your comments. That's what it's all about!"

Kevin wrote (via comments on PFR site):

"Hi Chris, thank you for your efforts to inform us of life in Panama. I will be traveling from the U.K. to Panama in February. To avoid driving through Panama City, I plan to stay the night in the city and get the bus to Penonomé the following day, where I intend to hire a car to continue my journey to David, Las Tablas, etc. If you can remember, are the car rental places you mention in the Penonomé article anywhere near where you get off the bus from the city? Thanks in advance. Cheers."

Chris replied:

"Hi Kevin,

"I don't blame you for wanting to avoid the drive through Panama City. Sadly, neither of the car rental places are super close to the bus stop, but it's kind of funny because once you reach Penonomé, you'll see that people start calling out "Parada!" to stop at regular bus stops along the way. By the time I reached the final stop, there were only maybe 5 of us still on the bus.

Dollar in Penonomé

"So, if you speak any Spanish at all, you can probably tell the driver or his assistant that you want to get off at the Dollar Rent-A-Car. The Dollar is on the right hand side as you enter Penonomé, before the bus veers right to make its way through the old part of town and to the final stop. Both car rental places are on the Pan-American Highway. The other place I mentioned in the Penonomé article, Express, is closer to the McDonald's and Super 99, farther down the highway (you won't pass it on the way to the final stop). 

Express in Penonomé

"If you're not comfortable getting off early, you'll find plenty of taxis at the final stop. It'd probably only cost you $1.50-$2 to catch a taxi to one of the car rental places. Also, if you're traveling with heavy bags that will need to either be placed under the bus or on top of it, they might not be too fond of unloading alongside the highway outside the Dollar Rent-A-Car. Good luck." 

Mike wrote (via comments on PFR site):

"Thinking Chitre might be a decent size town in the lowlands/interior to do such an expose' over. Thanks again for all this inspiration, you're a busy man with this site."

Chris replied:

"Hi Mike,

"Thanks for commenting. Yes, Chitre is definitely worth visiting and reporting on. I've been to Chitre before and I like it a lot. I love how Chitre has a mall, small movie theater, and large supermarkets, while all the areas around it don't. So it's kind of an escape for those living in Las Tablas and Pedasi, but it's still small town enough that you don't feel like you're stuck in the city.

Chitre is a really cool town

"Plus, it's the only place around to eat American fast food. So if you get a craving for McDonald's or KFC, Chitre is your place. If you plan to live there you might want to get out of town during Carnaval though as Chitre and Las Tablas are the most popular Carnaval party spots and things get really wild. 

"I'll be hitting Chitre this year for sure. I can't wait to get it all done. 2014 will be a very busy year!"

Kevin wrote:

"Hi Chris, thought I would let you know of my experience getting a bus from Albrook Mall to David last November. I don't speak a word of Spanish and the ticket person didn't speak any English. He was very patient with me and I eventually managed to get my ticket. I knew nothing about the RapiPass card, so I had a bit of a problem when I had to go through the turnstile. The attendant at the turnstile saw my confusion and with a smile, let me through a gate at the side of the turnstile. So in contrast to the rip off artist you encountered, all the people I met were more than helpful."

Chris replied:

"Hey Kevin, good to hear from you again. I'm glad you had a much easier time with the bus. Sounds like you had good luck all around. I've traveled to the interior by bus on many occasions and that one bad trip as the first time I've been hassled. Thanks for sharing your experience. It's important that people realize it's not a Panama thing, but an asshole ticket counter guy kinda thing."

Well, that's it for this Q and A session. Thanks for reading and I hope some of this helped.   

If you haven't already, check out our new website at www.PanamaForReal.com. It has a ton of info and enter your email address into the field below the red suitcase (in the top right corner of the page) to start receiving our bi-weekly newsletter. 

And check out our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Panama-For-Real/418977398194595 

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Thanks for reading,

Chris