10 Things You Will Hate About Panama (and why you should learn to love 'em)

Good morning everyone,

I hope wherever you are this day, you're staying warm (and for those of you in Panama I hope you're staying cool). Today's post just had to happen. I hear every single day that people are tired of the hype all over the Internet about how perfect Panama is. Most of that is coming from people selling conference tickets and houses in Panama. So, I just had to do it. I had to write about the 10 things you're definitely going to hate if you move to Panama. 

Now, before anyone jumps down my throat, you should know me fairly well by now. This won't be a negative post. I love Panama and for every single not-so-great situation I describe, you'll discover there's something really great going on to counter it. However, there are things that will bother you about Panama. It's a fact. I'm sure there are things bothering you in Kansas City, Quebec, Chicago, Miami, London, Helsinki, Las Vegas, or in Caracas. Wherever you're from, I bet you could put together one hell of a top 10 things you'd hate list. Here's mine on Panama. This is in no specific order. 

1. Motorcycle drivers create their own lanes - 

This blew my mind when I first moved here, mostly because I almost ran a couple of these drivers over. It's crazy. In the U.S., motorcycles have to stay in the appropriate lane, just like any other vehicle. Here (and I thought this was illegal until I noticed many cops on motorcycles doing the same thing) motorcycles swerve in and out of traffic, and drive up the narrow aisle between lanes.

See? Like this!

I sat in traffic one day on a street that was two lanes going in the same direction (one way street). A young couple, walking hand-in-hand, looked both ways before crossing the street. They did everything right. Then, as they crossed, suddenly a guy on a motorcycle came flying up that space between our lanes and screeched to a halt. I mean his back tire came up off the ground as he somehow managed to stop before slamming into this couple. The driver shook his head and threw his hands up in the air as if it were the couple's fault. I didn't even think it was possible to get run over by a motorcycle. Really? That was a close one though. 

Beware, when driving, checking your blind spot in Panama also means making sure there aren't any motorcycles creeping up, like the one you see in the photo below, just chillin' at this person's back bumper.

This guy is just sitting in someone's blind spot

Why should you learn to love it? Well, when you're waiting for your pizza to arrive, you'll be glad your delivery guy is able to get through the traffic quickly. 

Plus, if you happen to own a motorcycle, you'll be able to almost completely avoid traffic. Hmm, maybe I should learn to ride a motorcycle. 

2. Everything shuts down on certain holidays - 

What does this mean? Panama is full of very religious people, of many different religions. Quite a few of the business, especially in Panama City, are run by Chinese or Jewish business owners. This means that on any Chinese holiday or Jewish holiday, getting things done may be difficult. I set out one day to do some clothes shopping with my family, and my mother-in-law kind of shouted out as we were leaving that it was a Jewish holiday. I heard her, but didn't think much about it. 

A few miles down the road, when we pulled into the Los Pueblos outdoor shopping center, I noticed the gates down and the doors closed on most businesses, so many that it didn't really make sense to walk around and shop. 

And it's the same with the Catholic Holy Week. You might want to run out to the mall to pick something up and find that it's closed down or closed early due to a religious holiday observance. 

So, it's a big deal sometimes when it's a normal day for you, but you can't get anything done. It's like trying to get your favorite chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A on a Sunday. Ain't gonna happen. 

What's the good side of this? You'll always find something open on your holiday, whether you're Catholic or Jewish or it's the Chinese New Year. Your options may be limited, but you can still get things accomplished. 

3. Snakes and bugs - 

This is the tropics. Not only is it hot and muggy, but you will see lots of bugs, and quite possibly snakes and even scorpions. You might find less of these pesky creatures in Panama City, but they are here in and around the city. And I'm sure you'll find much more out in the interior. 

Found this spider in our bathroom

A friendly writer living high up in one of the mountain communities in Panama's interior, Rhonda, recently wrote about finding a scorpion at her front door one morning, stinger up and ready to attack. Her cats were just messing around, swatting at it, no care in the world. I've never seen a scorpion here, but I've found very large spiders in my house. The spider in the photo above was found in my bathroom.

In our last house, my wife woke up early in the morning to use the bathroom and through her tired, blurred vision, barely noticed a snake slithering around near the toilet. I've written about this before. She screamed, ran out of the bathroom, and slammed the door behind her. I rolled out of bed thinking someone had broken into the house or something. Marlene warned me to stay back because there was a huge snake in the bathroom that might be poisonous. I'm a wimp when it comes to snakes, so I was more than willing to back off. 

This think looks huge close up

When the firefighters and police showed up, they had a big laugh when they found the snake. Looks huge in the photo above, but it was really this big. Look at the photo below.

This is what it looked like to the cops. 

That little thing that looks like a dog turd...that was our snake

What's the good side? It's the tropics! This means wonderfully warm (genuinely hot) weather. Forget the bugs! If you don't like bugs or other pests, get a cat. Or get a dog. Hell, the spiders eat the mosquitos.

4.  There's no MLS (Multiple Listing Service/System) in Panama -

This can be frustrating when you're searching for a home, or when your preferred real estate agent is searching for you. You won't find one-stop shopping when it comes to apartments, condos, or homes in Panama. People have set up websites, some really great ones, to try and roundup some listings, but it's difficult to get a real finger on the pulse of the real estate action going on across the entire country. That's why you'll notice most agents stick to small areas, where they can truly understand what's available.

What's the good side? You're still able to find great deals in the towns you love, as long as you get out on foot and do a little bit of searching. If you visit, for example, Penonomé, absolutely fall in love with the place, and decide you'd like to talk to a local real estate expert or go directly to the owner of a house you see for sale, you can do that. You can do it without having to worry that 20 people are online about to pounce on that home. You might not find such a large audience if trying to sell a home, and as a buyer you won't see all the cards spread out on the table, but when you find a gem, you have much more of a chance of getting your hands on it. 

5. Littering is still a problem in some areas - 

I've heard from many expats visiting Panama that they were shocked by the amount of garbage on the ground in some areas. This is a problem. It bothers Panamanians just as much as it bothers visitors and the causes vary from people just being careless and tossing their milk carton out of their car window to not enough garbage trucks on the street.

In some neighborhoods, you'll see big unofficial garbage collection points, that are just flat out nasty. You'll see dogs picking at bones and flies buzzing around. Did I paint a gross enough picture for you? I don't want you to be shocked when you get out and visit the non-touristy areas. 

This is nasty!

The good news is this is a problem the Panamanian government is well aware of. More trucks have been purchased, new programs have been put in place, and it seems that they're genuinely trying to clean up the streets. I've seen signs posted reminding residents to not throw their garbage in some of these unofficial collection points.

Recycling bins on the Cinta Costera

I've seen recycling bins in parks and other places that get a lot of foot traffic. I was just at the Cinta Costera the other night, a fun place to hang out along the water, and I noticed the recycling bins in place. Even in the smaller towns in the interior, I've started to see recycling bins. At the town center in Penonomé, the little park there in front of the church had bins in place. That's awesome. 

The Penonomé town center

Many Panamanians have taken it upon themselves to help clean up the issue. Just yesterday morning, I heard on The Breakfast Show with Gerry D (which can be heard Mon-Fri, from 7am-10am, on Cool 89.3 FM or at their website www.pbcpanama.com), a fellow named Roba Morena talking about an upcoming recycling fair. He said his group collects nearly 10,000 pounds of recyclables per year. You can read about the upcoming fair, which is actually this Sunday, Jan. 26, at the Banco General parking lot in Villa Lucre from noon until 5pm, at http://www.robamorena.com/feriayoreciclo/

So, in some areas you might still see trash on the ground, but at least you know people are working on cleaning it up.

6. This place might not be as affordable as you've heard - 

Let's just say it like it is. A lot of companies are hyping up Panama, telling you that it's the most affordable place to base your retirement. You're being told that you can find super-affordable rentals, you can buy food for half the cost of what you'd spend in the U.S., and utilities are crazy cheap. 

Panama City is definitely not the cheap retirement haven it used to be. It's hard to find a low-cost rental in a desirable location. Like most major cities in the world, Panama City is a popular destination, right on the water, and living downtown can cost a lot. In that same area, electricity will be high, and grocery costs will probably be a lot like what you're used to, even more expensive for some items if they're imported. 

Life in the high-rent district will cost you

However, this doesn't mean you can't retire to Panama on a shoestring budget. You absolutely can. You just have to know how to do it. 

You have to face the facts about Panama City. It's expensive now. Expect to pay at least $1,200 to rent a decent place in the city (and that's on the low end). Out in the interior, it's still very possible to rent a place for under $500 a month. I'm not going to go into this too much, because I just covered it in my article The Real Cost of Living in Panama, which you can find by clicking here. 

Panama is not like the U.S. You won't walk into a Target or a Walmart and buy everything you need right there in one spot. You will find places like El Machetazo and Discovery Center, where a variety of items are on the shelves, but I'm telling you, warning you, if you rely on one store to get everything you need, you're going to spend a small fortune.

Buy local brands to save money

You have to learn to shop like Panamanians. This means buying your fruit and vegetables at the Saturday market or any other fresh market around town. If you live in one of the small towns where fish is brought out straight from the docks each morning, buy your fish from the street side vendors. With a family of 6, I buy certain things at PriceSmart (member shopping, like Costco) like meat and juice, but I buy toilet paper at the regular supermarket. If you learn what to do and what not to do, you can live in Panama on a fairly low budget. You can read my article about PriceSmart shopping here. 

Try to shop at the farmer markets

I put a Real Supermarket Prices article together, which you can read here, and afterwards I got a lot of email responses about how Panama didn't seem any less expensive than peoples' home cities. The reason for this is I tried to put items on the list that people would be familiar with, so they could see what those prices are like here. I also tried to put some Panamanian brands on the list. You can buy a $5.39 pack of Chips Ahoy, or you can spend $1.50 on a similar local brand. As I mention in most articles, you can't buy all imported goods if you want to save money. 

Water is usually very inexpensive in Panama and so is trash collection, but electricity...wow. It totally varies. I've heard a lot of people tell me their electric bill is well under $100 per month. My sister-in-law is shocked if hers goes over $30, but she's rarely home and never uses an air conditioner. If you run your AC all day, and you live in a pricier area, you could see bills of $300 per month or more. I know because I've received bills that high. 

Living in a place like Boquete, Cerro Azul, El Valle de Anton, or Volcan, you'd rarely use the AC, so your electric bill would be very low. However, if you're living in the penthouse suite in a Marbella condo and running the AC all day (Panama City is hot), expect to pay more for electricity.

You'd probably never use an air conditioner in Cerro Punta

All that said, if you can learn to live like a local, you can still save a lot of money retiring in Panama.

7. Customer service isn't great (for the most part) -  

If there's anything that will probably drive you nuts about living in Panama, it will be the general lack of a good customer service mentality. I'm really into customer service. I always have been, so it bothers me a lot when I'm paying for a service and someone rolls his or her eyes at me, or just refuses to help...it's pretty aggravating. 

I've always found customer service to be a serious issue in Panama, but I'm noticing now, that it seems to be about the area you're in. It's unfortunate, but true, that if you go to a popular restaurant near a lower income area, the service just seems worse. Then, you go to the same restaurant in an upscale mall, and it's a totally different experience. 

Tantalo in Casco Viejo has great food and great service

When I taught customer service techniques here in Panama awhile back, I was told by many of my Panamanian students, that the reason they didn't provide great service is that tips are always low. I can see how that would be a factor. People are used to paying very little in Panama, so I imagine the tips are quite low as well. I think a lot of it has to do with employers not making the employees feel like they have a vested interest in the company. They're getting paid a very low salary (many times by foreign employers who came here to open up shop and save money), they clock in and out, many work more than 5 days a week, and they go home just to do it all over again. You'll rarely see sales initiatives in place or rewards for employees. That's a shame.

Keila and Eliecer provided outstanding service at

the Do It Center in Villa Lucre

This means great things for us though. We have the opportunity to completely change things. As customers, we can help by smiling, being friendly to the person serving our food, leaving a fair tip, and making sure we've actually told the server that we appreciate their great attitude and a job well done. Doing that, we might be able to change the poor customer service mentality. 

As business owners, you can lead the way by providing great service yourself and teaching yoru employees how to do the same. Motivate your employees. Make them feel a part of something bigger. And for cryin' out loud, if you come here to open up a business, be a good employer. Treat your employees with respect and pay them more than the bare minimum. You'll probably still save money. Just sayin'.

8. Construction noise in the city - 

This might not be much of an issue in the interior, except maybe parts of the Pan-American Highway being reduced to one lane because of construction, but in the city, construction noise is always around. 

Construction work in Obarrio

So much is happening in Panama, all over the place, and with all the work going on, you're bound to be annoyed by some of the construction noises. And if the sound of the jackhammers, wrecking balls, and other equipment doesn't bother you, you might hate, or get a kick out of, the constant whistling and yelling you'll hear every time a pretty woman walks by the site, as work halts and workers step to the ledge to check out the action down below. 

When one beautiful woman passes, one guy whistles, and no less

than 20 workers risk their lives to peak out at the street below

The good news is it's quite entertaining to see everything halt, like a Broadway musical number is about to begin, and see the guys yelling their praises to the passing women. Also, it's good to know that so much progress is happening. I'm excited to see what new businesses will spring up around the city. There's so much change going on all the time. It's exhilarating. 

9. Traffic -

If you've read anything about Panama, I'm sure you've read about the traffic issues. Panama City is gridlock traffic during all rush hours, which is a good portion of the day. Trying to leave the house anytime between 7am-10am in the morning, and 4pm-8pm in the evening, is a bad idea. Just avoid it if you can. Unlike any other place I've lived, there aren't many shortcuts here. You can't really dodge the traffic because if there's an alternate route, everyone else already knows about it.

The Cinta Costera at 5pm

Living in the interior, you might avoid most of this traffic. Unless it's carnaval time, any other holiday, or a long weekend. Many Panamanians escape the city whenever they can by heading to the interior. So, if it's Holy Week, and you want to get to Coronado, you might find yourself in some pretty heavy traffic on the highway. We went to David during one of the long holiday weekends (I can't remember which one). We avoided all traffic headed out there, had a great time (did the Volcan video which you can see here) and all was great...until the drive home.

The Corredor Sur at 8am

We left early in the morning, before sunrise, to head home, knowing everyone else would be driving back to Panama City this day too. We were flying home, no traffic at all, but then decided to stop for breakfast. That 30-40 minute break was a big mistake. By the time we got to the entrance to El Valle, traffic was bumper to bumper all the way back to the city.

So how is any of this good? Well, when you stay in Panama City during any of these long holiday weekends, you find the streets open up with hardly any traffic. It's amazing. Everyone has gone to the interior. 

The Corredor Norte at 9am

And as far as the daily traffic grind, again, things are getting better. The Metro trains are scheduled to start running this year, many of the buses have been taken off the road, and hopefully traffic will start to ease up. If traffic congestion really bothers you, just move to one of the small towns in the interior where a lot of people write bikes. That would be great.

10. Getting things accomplished, step by step by step - 

I'm sure you've all heard of the mañana attitude (where things move very slowly, especially anything relating to the government) here in Panama, but there's one other issue you might notice when trying to get anything accomplished. Several employees will be involved in whatever it is you're trying to get done, whether it's buying a cheeseburger, getting a work license, or anything else. 

For example, for one of the jobs I had here, I needed to go get a copy of my police record. I went to the building that issues these, to make sure I could prove that I was an upstanding citizen. I stood in line at one desk, to request the form I needed. When I made it to the counter, the lady told me I needed to go to a different area of the building to pay the small fee I was required to pay (I think it was only $1). Then, I needed to go back to the original lady to get the form stamped. I kept thinking, "Why can't I just pay her, have her stamp my paper, and be on my way?" It doesn't work like that here.

At one of the social security hospitals here, I stood in line with my wife to explain what we were there to do. We were given a form and told to take it to the doctor. So we went to his office, knocked on the door, interrupted his conversation with a patient, just so he could sign the form (I guess agreeing to see us), then we had to go pay at a cashier window, then go back to the first counter...you get the point, and this was all before actually getting seen by the doctor. Once the doctor prescribed our medicine (after the exam), we had to do a similar process to get the meds (including visiting the pharmacy first to make sure they had them before going to pay and then returning to get the medicine). 

For the final step in getting my cedula, I had to go to an office on the second floor of the Tribunal Electoral office to turn in my paperwork. Then, they sent me downstairs to pay. At that point I got a little bit lost. I'd paid and couldn't figure out what to do next. I got into the wrong line before I was told I needed to go back upstairs to the original office I'd been in. So I did. They did what they had to do and then sent me back downstairs to get in line to have my photo taken. Then I was told I needed to come back another day to pick up my ID card at a completely different desk.

For a great example of all this, read my steps to getting a Panamanian driver's license here.  

This might all seem a little bit crazy, and I'll never agree that it's efficient, but when you think about it, it's all a big checks and balances system. If four people are handling pieces of the process, it's a lot harder for one person to take a payoff and speed up the process for certain friends or crooked businesspeople. It ensures everyone is equal.

Plus, it helps lower Panama's unemployment rate. Panama is great at making sure its people have jobs. I'm not kidding. I counted 14 employees at the Burger King in Costa del Este. And only 3 customers at the time. This is great for the employees and makes the job a lot easier for them. Now, 14 might be overkill, but I can tell you when I was a teenager, and only 2 of us were on shift to man the front counter and the drive thru window at the ice cream joint where I worked, I would've loved to see 12 coworkers respond for backup. 

Bonus #11.   Your DVD player might not work - 

If you haven't already switched to streaming all of your movies on Netflix or any other online venue, you might still have a DVD player. I do. 

When I moved to Panama, I had a container shipped with all of my belongings, from Columbus, Ohio, to Panama. There was no way I was leaving my 500+ DVD collection behind. Since it took awhile for my stuff to arrive, and I wanted a second DVD player anyways, I bought one here too.

If you don't already know, DVDs sold in the U.S. have a region 1 code built into them. Canada falls under region 1 as well. Panama is region 4. I didn't know all this when moving here. What does that mean to you?

If you have a DVD player that's purchased, for example, in the U.S., it's going to play region 1 DVDs, but unless it's a multi-region player (many are nowadays) it won't play discs from any other region. 

So, when I bought my DVD player in Panama, it was a region 4 player and it wouldn't play any of the discs I brought with me from the States. I figured out what the problem was and took the player back to the store. I asked for a multi-region player. The attendant assured me the next one I bought was multi-region. It said it was on the box. Still, it would only play the movies I'd purchased in Panama, not the ones I brought from the U.S.

I took the player back to the store again, and was sent to some little room where they could test it. I brought a region 1 disc with me, and the guy was unable to get it to play. Then, I saw him play around with it a little bit, he punched a code into the remote control, and bam, it started playing my region 1 disc. I went home, happy to be able to finish my season of Friday Night Lights.

Everything was fine for awhile, until my container arrived and I set up my surround sound DVD system from the U.S. It wouldn't play my Panamanian DVDs. Same issue as before, but the other way around. I remembered the guy putting a code into the remote control at the store, so I started doing a little bit of digging around online. I found that almost all players can be unlocked so that they play discs from any region. It's a very easy process.

You really just have to go to Google and type in "How to unlock my Panasonic 57R43." Of course you'll need to substitute what I typed with the make and model of your player. I used the following site, just now, to find the code for my Philips DVP5990 player. http://www.videohelp.com/dvdhacks?dvdplayer=Philips+DVP5990&hits=50&Search=Search

You'll see on that page, if the link works, that the step by step instructions for unlocking my player, in other words making it region free, are as follows:


Press the Setup button
Select the Preference Tab
Press 1,3,8,9,3,1
Press up/down key to select "0"
And hit menu to exit. 

Sometimes you'll have to open and close your disc tray and power off the player for a certain amount of time. Different players have different instructions. Hopefully this will help you be able to once again use the DVD player you paid good money for. I think this works for Blu-Ray players too. I tried with a PS3 and couldn't figure it out. 

I typed in Philips and the model number you see here 

(all except the /37 at the end)

Well, guys, I hope you didn't find my post too negative. That truly wasn't my intention. I just wanted to clear the air and be honest about some of the things I've seen and heard lately online and on the social media sites. Panama is not a perfect place. No place is. But I love this place and hope you will too. 

If you haven't already, check out our new website at www.PanamaForReal.com. It has a ton of info. Enter your email address into the field below the red suitcase (in the top right corner of the page) to start receiving our bi-weekly newsletter.

And check our Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Panama-For-Real/418977398194595

And our Youtube channel at: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6N7Ih2bjD0FjOBnDg_-Flg

Thanks for reading,

Chris

Recent Panama City Improvements

I was driving through the neighborhood the other day, and it hit me how much things have changed in Panama City over the past few years. I remember visiting Panama back in 2001, when I first married my wife. It was my first time in this country. I remember thinking there's no way I could move to Panama. It was just too third world back then. In the past 12 years, I've seen this country grow by leaps and bounds. I'm living here full time now, and every day this place gets more modern and more user-friendly. 

I started thinking about this as I drove over the brand new road that leads through Panama Viejo, the ruins of old Panama. It used to be a broken street that led past the ruins and through a neighborhood where traffic was always lined up, moving at a turtle's pace. I hated driving through the area and opted to pay the $1.40 each way for the Corredor Sur toll highway. Now, I find it much faster to drive the new road (and much cheaper too). 

The new 4-lane road is a much easier route than the old 2-lane one

Not only is the road much more stress-free and a lot cleaner, it's also nice to see that the city has invested money in playgrounds for some of the neighborhoods along this road. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the government wanting the roadside scenery to look a little nicer, but who cares, as long as the kids benefit, it's great.

Something else that I was stunned and happy to see, was the inclusion of handicap markings on the sidewalks. I've seen a lot of questions, either in the expat blogs, or by direct email, about whether or not Panama City and the interior towns, are handicap accessible. Traditionally, Panama City has not been a good place to walk or ride a bike due to the horrible condition of the sidewalks, and using a wheelchair would almost be out of the question. Some towns, like Las Tablas for example, have ramps at some of the sidewalks and handicap signs spread out around town. It looks as if Panama City is realizing the need for these improvements and has begun working on the problem. 

And this isn't even the main part of Panama City

Another improvement is the addition of street signs in some parts of the city. When I first moved here, there were almost no signs anywhere. Everyone just seemed to know the streets. Tumba Muerto (dead tomb) is a major street here, and Transistmica, Calle 50, Via España, and Via Porras. Streets like these were just well known, but it would be hard to find signage anywhere. Being a small city, finding your way around isn't difficult once you convince yourself to get out and just do it, but you're more likely to learn the streets by remembering which KFC is on it than you are by learning the street names. 

Again, things are changing. Where I'm currently living, an area called Chanis, cement, hand-painted street signs have begun to pop up all over the place. This is great. Especially for the poor delivery guys who have to zip up and down the neighborhood streets on motorbike. I had one stop in front of my house the other night when I was unloading groceries from my car. He asked me which street was 3rd street. I had no idea. I knew we were on 5th, but where the heck was 3rd? You'd think it'd be two streets away. Not in my neighborhood. Someone was getting a cold pizza that night that's for sure. 

Before this sign, I bet the people living on Calle Navarra 

didn't even know there was a Calle Navarra

So these street signs are sure to be very helpful. One more great addition is the neighborhood signs. Although most of them, at least in my area, look to be made of hard plastic, it's nice to see these signs up. 

Panama is strange in the way that it's such a small place, and neighborhoods change so quickly. For example, Wellington, Florida, is a fairly large town. Wellington has tons of small subdivisions, but it's all Wellington. Here, you can be in Obarrio, turn down a side street and not realize you're in Marbella, travel a few more streets away and you're in Bella Vista, and if you wrap back around you'll find yourself in El Cangrejo. It's almost like every street is its own neighborhood. 

Welcome to Reparto Nuevo, the neighborhood that's only about a block long

I just mentioned how Panama City has never really been a walking town. It's not. Not yet anyway. It's definitely not Chicago or New York City, where you get out and just hoof it, knowing you can get where you're going by foot, or worst case scenario, by taxi. In Panama City, things are much more spread out. It's unlikely that you'll set out on foot and just happen to bump into something to do. You need to know where you're going. 

One of my favorite things about Chicago was the fact that I could just get out and go. I didn't really have to have a plan. There was always something to do. If you just kept walking in one direction, especially down Michigan Avenue, you were bound to find some sort of entertainment. It's not like that here. 

Plus, the sidewalks are horrible. Most are cracked and overrun by trees that have grown beneath the cement. The city has done a great job of cleaning up the parking situation. It used to be that cars would park on the sidewalks too, causing pedestrians to have to dangerously make their way out onto the street to get around them. Now, the cops are ticketing people and having cars towed.

Another reason Panama City is not the greatest place for walking, is the insane amount of dog poop you find everywhere. 

Incase you forgot what dog poop looks like

It seems that Panama City is well aware of this issue too and has begun to do what they can to clean it up. I was shocked when I saw the following signs going up around town: 

Too bad the dude in the picture doesn't have a bag in his hand

Is Panama third world? Not really. Not anymore. Sure, some towns out in the interior definitely qualify as third world, but Panama City is probably a lot more advanced than many towns in the great ol' U.S. of A. And it's getting better every day. 

In Aguadulce, a little sweet water town right off the Pan-American Highway, you can sit at the town center, right in front of the church, under the shade of a cozy little gazebo and use WIFI. The town is wired up. How's that for third world? 

Road trip to Panama's interior

I'm back in Panama City, and wow, this past weekend was an exhausting, but terrific one. Marlene (my wife) and I loaded up the kids, the bags, and the snacks and headed into the interior of the country. It was a mistake leaving at 12:30 p.m. on Thursday (the start of the Semana Santa). My wife had to work a half-day though so we got a later start than we'd hoped for. 

With the craziest music mix you can imagine (I let the kids help me put it together) we be-bopped along while we sat in bumper to bumper traffic. I'd expected there to be some congestion, but I'd never expected it to be as bad as it turned out. It was like carnaval traffic headed to the interior. 

I always get a kick out of seeing all of the young entrepreneurs lined up alongside the Pan-American Highway, selling everything from bottles of water to bags of chips to bootlegged mix cds. Anytime you hit traffic in Panama, you can rest assured you won't go thirsty. Someone will be smart enough to set up shop on that busy street corner. It's the same along the highway during any major festival or holiday weekend.

One of the great things about Panama, is everything is kind of set up in one straight line, well, one long curving line really. My point is that I'm always asked if it's confusing trying to get from Panama City to David or Boquete or anywhere else. Really, there's one highway that takes you most of the way. I'll explain what I mean by "most of the way" in just a second. The only decision you'll need to make in Panama City is which bridge you'd like to travel over when you leave the city.

One road heading out will take you past the entrance to the Amador Causeway and out over the Bridge of the Americas or Puente de las Americas. This is the exit you'd choose if you were at downtown Panama City or anywhere near the Cinta Costera, as it's the closest to that area. 

The Bridge of the Americas taken at Amador Causeway

The other option, if you're closer to the Bethania, El Dorado, Condado del Rey area, is to head out past the new shopping center, Centennial Plaza, where the Arrocha, McDonald's, Rey, and Taco Bell are (plenty of other places too). This road will lead towards the Estadio Nacional de Panama, also called the Rod Carew Stadium, where many of the big baseball games are played. That's where you'll find the Centennial Bridge. 

It's important to know how to get to each of these bridges because you never know when one will be closed down for maintenance. The day we were leaving, the Bridge of the Americas was closed down for a couple of hours because a truck spilled oil all over the place. By the time we left it was open again, but in that kind of situation, it's nice to know you can head over to the other bridge to escape town. 

The Centennial Bridge is the newer, cooler looking bridge. If your desire is to cross the Panama Canal, both of these bridges will take you over it. 

Since this article is all about the road trip, I thought I'd mention the house in the photo below. This house is kind of known as the "haunted house" along the highway. It's been recently painted so it doesn't look all that freaky right now, but it's right on the corner as you head into the swervy part of the highway, in the Capira area. Many people have come back from road trips late at night and swore they saw the ghost of a woman walking alongside the road. Truck drivers have told tales of picking up a stranded woman to have her vanish from the truck cab a few minutes later. 

The Haunted House on the Pan-American Highway

I wonder if the people living there know that people think their house is haunted. They probably have no idea and if they stumble upon my article they might be pissed. Like, "Hey, that's my house. What the heck? Haunted? No, we've seen that ghost chick too, but she doesn't live here." 

So, the traffic cleared up right after Chorrera, which is right around where the two lanes of traffic (the one coming from the Bridge of the Americas and the other coming from the Centennial Bridge) meet. Even on a normal, non holiday weekend, you can expect to run into a little bit of traffic right around this point. After that it was smooth sailing. Watching out for cops became the new challenge. On most of the highway, when you're not driving through one of the small towns, you can count on the speed limit being somewhere between 80km per hour and 100km per hour (which is equal to 50-60 miles her hour). The limit changes quickly though. Watch out for the "Reduzca Velocidad" or reduce speed signs and the cops, which were EVERYWHERE this holiday weekend. 

Quite a few Panamanians know about the blinking of the high beams to let fellow travelers know there's a cop up ahead. It's nice when you see that, and to pay it forward I try to do the same whenever I notice a curbside cop in the opposite lane. 

Near Penonome

As I mentioned before, there are only a couple of detours you might need to make, depending on where you're headed to. If your plan is to travel to Chitre, Las Tablas, Pocri, Pedasi, or any of the other towns on the east coast of the Azuero Peninsula, you'll need to make a right onto the overpass in Divisa, which you'll find shortly after you pass Aguadulce. The overpass will take you up and to the left, where you'll begin your drive down the peninsula. Look at the photo below to see what I'm talking about. Once you're on the peninsula, it's pretty much a straight drive all the way to Las Tablas. Once you hit Las Tablas, you'll want to make a left onto the main street (the one across from the church) to reach Pocri, Pedasi, and Playa Venao. 

Head onto this overpass to travel to the towns on the east coast of the Azuero Peninsula

If you stay on the Pan-American Highway, you'll find that it's fairly smooth from Panama City until you get as far as Santiago. You'll still want to be careful for a few random potholes and some dips in the road. I was driving a little Suzuki Swift on this trip and I swear I thought I was about to launch my family into outer space when we hit this smooth dip and rise somewhere around Aguadulce. Somehow my wife slept through the leap and my kids cheering from the back seat. I swear, she can sleep through anything. 

Once you reach Santiago, it becomes a bumpy ride. Never never never ever never make this trip without a spare tire, a jack, and a tire iron handy. No joke. The road gets pretty nasty. And it's a good idea to try and make the trek during the day. Cows tend to roam across the road wherever they please. Night driving isn't a good idea unless you're in a huge truck and you know the area and its road very well. 

Just passed Tole and the sun was going down

We left Panama City at about 12:30 p.m. and reached David at about 8 p.m. That was with the traffic we'd encountered earlier in the day and we stopped to eat at the McDonald's in Santiago. So, I'd say that it probably takes a good 6.5 hours to make the trip with no traffic.

Near Volcan

Besides the turn towards the Azuero Peninsula, that I mentioned earlier, there are only a few other turns you might want to make as you journey to the country's interior. The turn towards Dolega and Boquete is located in David, and about twenty minute's drive down the highway, past David, you'll find the street that takes you towards Volcan. Still, as I mentioned before, each of these turn offs is located on the Pan-American Highway, and since each is a straight street that leads you towards your destination once you leave the highway, getting around this country is really simple. If what you're looking for isn't sitting alongside the highway, you'll be sure to find it at the end of a side street.

Our destination was David, where we hung out with my wife's sister, Darlene (Doctor Dar), for the weekend and visited the surrounding areas. We had a great time, good quality family time. Nowadays it's hard to get away from the computer, so for this trip, I didn't take it with me, and it was wonderful. 

On the way home we hit some horrible traffic, right around the street that takes you up into El Valle, right before San Carlos and Coronado. It took probably an hour just to get a few miles, but then the cops created a third lane by putting cones up to block off one of the west-bound lanes, which allowed some of us heading towards the city to move onto that lane. So, with three lanes headed back to the city, and only one headed away, the congestion thinned out and we were home in no time. 

Thanks for reading,

Chris

Saying goodbye to my friends, the Diablo Rojos

There seem to be mixed emotions over whether or not it's a good idea to banish the cultural mascots of Panama, the Diablo Rojo buses. When I say cultural mascots, that's exactly what they are. These old school buses that have been transformed into speedster taxis, are a standout symbol for Panama. Almost every tourist snaps pictures of these loud and flamboyant vehicles, often painted with Conan-style dungeon and dragon like scenery with half-naked ladies trying to slay flying fire breathers, while just over the Xena chick's shoulder is Winnie the Pooh or Tom and Jerry.

With fronts that look a lot like something out of Mad Max, where oftentimes the driver can only see out of a slit in the windshield that's surrounded by a red feather boa, and the destination painted up top rather than on a digital screen like their more modern brothers, these buses have a special place in my heart. When I first moved here, or I should say when I first began to work here (almost a year after moving here), I'd hop on one of these buses at 6:00 a.m. and head straight to work, packed in with all the other commuters like a tin of sardines. 

I'd garnish the strangest looks from the other passengers, like, "What is this gringo doing here? Shouldn't he have a car?" And I was never comfortable with shouting, "Parada!" like you're supposed to to announce your desire to exit the bus. Instead, I'd always fight my way to the front, and stand at the top step, facing the door. The driver always seemed to get the hint and stop at the next stop for me. My favorite part of my morning (and evening) commute? Hopping off at a slow jog as the driver never brought the bus to a complete stop. If you didn't keep pace, you'd likely fall on your face. I once heard an older passenger scream at the driver in Spanish, "Are you trying to kill me? Stop the bus completely!"

Me at the back of a Diablo Rojo

Yes, I happen to appreciate these old buses, but why? Let me explain. I've lived in many of the U.S.'s major cities, where bus transportation costs a pretty penny and most of the time the buses run late, leaving you desperate and stressing out as you try to get to work on time. I paid about $80 per month for a monthly bus pass in Chicago. Some mornings I had to wait at least twenty minutes for a bus to arrive, and then, if it wasn't time for the next route to start, I'd have to either stand out in the cold, or if the driver was nice enough to let me in early, I'd have to sit and wait another ten minutes or so before he'd start driving. 

It's not like that with the Diablo Rojos. These buses are privately owned buses and keep no schedule. However, on every route, there are so many of them operating that you know one will be swinging around the corner in five minutes or less. There's no racing out of your house half dressed because you can't afford to miss the 6:30 a.m. bus. There's no need to worry about it because if you miss the 6:30 a.m. bus, you'll be sure to find a 6:33 bus on its way. And there's no waiting for the bus to start its route. They just keep circling the city, nonstop. 

Out with the old, in with the new

What does it cost to ride a Diablo Rojo? Putting up with the blasting reggaeton music, ignoring the old wino who got there earlier than you and is sitting two seats back burping Ron Abuelo burps and belting out his favorite Ismael Rivera tune, and being squished in besides other sweaty commuters, is a small price to pay when you consider the cost of a one-way trip is only 25 cents. That's it. One quarter will take you where you want to go. And fast (when there's no traffic) as the drivers could rival Dale Earnheardt. They swear they're on a Nascar track, weaving in and out, dodging traffic. 

Sadly, the reign of the Diablo Rojo is coming to an end. I say "is coming to" because they were supposed to be off the road by March 15th. I've seen a few of them still on the road, but it's nothing like before. I've heard there are still a couple of routes where the old buses are allowed to keep going for the time being. 

The government of Panama, in its effort to modernize Panama, has paid $20,000 to the owners of these buses to get them off the road. Apparently, there has been a minor setback, as many of the owners don't have the proper paperwork to operate the bus in the first place. That's still being worked out. 

A Diablo Rojo with not so much pizazz

One major concern right now, is the lack of new, modern, air-conditioned buses that are out on the routes. Even with the Diablo Rojos operating side-by-side with the new buses, most buses were jam packed with commuters. Two weeks ago you'd see the Metro buses (the modern ones) so full that riders were sitting down, standing up, and squeezed in uncomfortably. Right behind the new bus you'd see an older one, also filled to the brim.  So, when the old buses were taken off the street on the 15th, what do you think happened? 

With only one option left, and not enough of those buses on the road, people are now fighting over the buses. Literally. The traffic authorities have tried to establish single-file lines to help usher people onto the buses at some of the larger pick-up points, but keeping the peace all over the city is not an easy thing to do, not when people have been waiting several hours to get on a bus. And not when they're in jeopardy of losing their jobs for arriving to work late. 

Our nanny showed up several hours late last week and told us that she'd waited over two hours to get on a bus. People were pushing and shoving her as she finally boarded. So, now the government is trying to solve the commuter problem. I'm not sure, at this point, what they plan to do, but just saying that they're working on a solution isn't going to be good enough.

The new subway/el-train system being put up all over the city is sure to provide some relief, but that's not scheduled to be completed until 2014. Maybe they should have waited until then to take the Diablo Rojos off the road.

Metro buses lined up on both sides and the train tracks being built above

My concern is that the cost of providing these newer air-conditioned buses is going to be a hefty one and I can't imagine the price to board will stay at 25 cents. No way. Maybe for a little while to ease people's minds, but at some point, the cost will rise to 35 cents then to 50 cents then eventually reach a dollar. Just like the corridor. To go from one end of the Corridor Norte to the other costs almost $4. So what's to stop the government from raising the cost of the bus up to a dollar or more? With no more Diablo Rojos to provide competition, the Metro buses will have the monopoly. I hope I'm wrong, because the average Panamanian worker won't want to (or be able to) pay more than 25 cents each way. 

I know many people won't agree with me on this, but I'm a fan of the red devil buses and I'm sad to see them go. My wife, who just peeked over my shoulder and saw what I was writing, doesn't agree with me. She feels that the Diablo Rojos have been responsible for too many deaths and accidents, and that the drivers have never taken responsibility the way they should. So, I suppose there are good reasons for taking them off the street. Too bad the government couldn't find a happy medium and paint the new buses with Looney Tunes characters or something like that. 

The new Metro bus

Or, how about the old buses stay on their routes, and the cops or whoever is in charge of keeping the streets safe, simply enforce the laws and fine the buses that are caught running red lights, weaving in and out of traffic, and participating in any other illegal or dangerous acts? I mean, think about it, if your kid is being bullied in school by a kid with blonde hair, you don't deal with the situation by taking all of the blond haired kids out of the school. 

However, as much as I miss some modern amenities from back home, seeing how rapidly Panama City is advancing makes me worry that soon this will be just another Miami. And I kinda like it the way it was when I got here.  :(

Thanks for reading,

Chris